Elrichian Almanac
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These scraps of literature have been donated by my good friend, Dr. Taylor, and his associates at the Red Acting Troupe. They encompass the only known remains of Aighr Slowjuks novel "Almanac of the Emprian Lands and its neighbores." Although primarily focusing on the Emprian Confederate Empire, it has several chapters focused on the Kingdom of Elrich. These fragments are the only known reproduction.

THE KINGDOM OF ELRICH - ALMANAC ENTRY

The Kingdome of Elrich is a strange land, with borders, laws, and politics unlike any other. (illegible) an absolute monarchy, but it has political parties. The monarch rules with an iron fist, but he doesn't maintain a standing army, instead relying on the militia system. Although it appears as a weak union of provinces, the strong political might of the crown and the weak local governments, in addition to the lack of will for ind…

…he Teba province is the northernmost portion of the land, which borders our owne Empire. (Illegible)other then them, not a desirable place to inhabit (illegible) very few human residents and even fewer friendly swamp-(illegible) which obviously should never stay overnight, lest you lose some vital organs. Historically, the raccoon mystics have risen in rebellion, their dark chirring tongues nearly spelling doom of the Kings own (illegible). In these years, the Teba Independance movement has been abandoned, only used by (illegible) which nobody takes seriously.

… Fifth Elrichian Nationalist Party, also known as the "Often Banned, Always Deadlocked" party…

…Suva has had a historical rivalry with Elrich, for influence in the (illegible) as well as the Fief of Don. Several wars between the two nations have been fought through the histories, including the War of Alfonse's Yard, over a property dispute, and the War of Suvian Succesion, when His Healthy Green Harmon III declared war to prevent the ascension of an eggplant.

…O NO NO PLEASE NEVER EVER DO THAT, YOU WILL BE DOUBLY AXED IN THE (ILLEGIBLE)…

THE PROPRT METHOD OF COOKING AND EATING AN OAK DESK

This fragment was translated from Oltenian. Apologies for the roughness of the translation, but it is a very primitive language.

Hello hungry traveler! We are of the very happy persuasion to view your purchase of this guide, the Oltonian mans guide to the slayment and self-nourishification by using Oaken written tome anchors! (illegible) steps to follow with us will be very easy if you follow them by going through each step and following the directions until all of the directions have been followed and then you have done it!

…eiboring nation of Revelo is known for having unstable government.(illegible) a member of our glorious confederacy, it seceded to become an independent kingdom. After the Goat-Cheese Uprising of 903, it became a republike. It is considered an enemy of the Confederate Empire, (illegible) alliance with Elrich and Grandia, which has allowed for its survival during the First, Second, Ninth, and Twenty-Seventh Wars of Emprian Unification. Currently, acting President is Frederick Powell assasinated Colin Brackir assasinated Dmitri Powell accidentally self-assasinated

The current King of Elrich is Alexander Gereros IV, who succeeded Braem III last Julengestday. Currently, his policies have consisted of expanded fertilization for all plants within the Capitol of Elra, and using his mystic royal mandate to create air for all property-owning citizens.

… hats.

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