The seas are a strange place. it can rip a man to shreds with its power but can be as calm and serene as a field on a sunny day. Tell me then If you lived in a place as chaotic as that would you be the minuscule man that you are?
Some grammar errors here, and it doesn't make much sense if you read this aloud…There's actually a lot of obvious errors in this first paragraph, please correct them.
It will keep having surprises and making me feel good until the sun turns off.
Worded awkwardly. Maybe "It will continue to surprise and satisfy me until the sun dims forever." would be better.
the Anomalous Irish play Of Ships And Blood Red Seas
Lowercase "anomalous" and italicize the title.
(it is usually created in a similar manner in most universes who have in Ireland or have a culture, group, landmass that is similar to Ireland. To Ireland and experience a boost in navel travel during a time of exploration and rapid colonization)
Seems extraneous, I'd cut it.
written by a reincarnated Tuatha De Danna and tells in the perspective of the Morrigan
Is told.
right next.)
Stray parenthesis.
in the library is to keep track of which ways
Capitalize "Library" and "Ways" whenever you're talking about the proper nouns.
There are so many grammatical and linguistic errors here to the point that it's really annoying me…Is English your first language? If you want me to cover all of the errors, feel free to ask in your reply to this post, but know that I'll have to get to it another time. I can also help you if you join the Discord chat (hover over the "About" section in the topbar).
Thoughts
Fix your spacing. Please have a line of space in between each paragraph/line. The first paragraph doesn't really flow well into the report on the play, and consider removing it. The second paragraph is really confusing and is slightly dull, so I recommend condensing it so it's more concise.
You should consider some sort of formatting, like horizontal lines, to divide the different sections from each other.
There are a lot of errors in the third paragraph, and it reads more like a really badly written ramble instead of a cohesive narrative. Please focus on what you want to communicate and type properly.
The fourth paragraph also contains a lot of errors. I'm not exactly sure what the narrator is saying here, and it has a really bad flow.
The fifth paragraph seems unnecessarily long, since it doesn't contain any details that really help characterize the crew, and instead focuses on vague things that they saw without any specific references to crew members, things that were said, etc…
The sixth paragraph needs more improvement, and the transition is really choppy from talking about the crew to talking about his interest in the odd to talking about how the crew died.
The rest of this is really hard to read because you didn't space out your paragraphs correctly and it is poorly written. The core concept might be able to work, but there just isn't enough focused storyline here in order to set it apart from the other sea-related tales that were recently posted because of the Wanderer's Depths. What's the story you are trying to tell? I need to know what you want to write in order for me to help you write it and cut/revise/edit your story.
I'm probably going to have to review the errors in your story paragraph-by-paragraph. Tell me if you'd prefer this or some other system.
