Tears of the moon

Summary:

Short story. looking for recommendations/thoughts

Tears of the moon

karlson de clare 17 May 2020 09:30

http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/de-clares-sandbox

Its a short story about a fortune teller and a foolish king. Any advice/thoughts?

Last edited on 17 May 2020 09:30 by karlson de clare Show more

Re: Tears of the moon

Avelon21 17 May 2020 16:27

+ show block

moss hung

Moss-hung

For a small price or a meal

Missing a comma

As the old mans

Missing an apostrophe

Reread for other errors.

This is extremely dull in terms of story and does not have anything particularly unique to add to the common take of "fairy tale involving seers". In order for something like this to work, there needs to be something unique and interesting, rather than just the typical plot of a king trying to escape death. I recommend adding more specific details and expanding in creative ways (Like you just have a king trying to escape death—what else can you add?). Don't be afraid to add your own spin on anything.

Do you have any thoughts on what you can change?

Re: Tears of the moon

karlson de clare 18 May 2020 03:00

Thanks for the thoughts! I have a couple ideas on how to make it more interesting. The king is trying to outwit the seer to save his son or something, just some basic ideas right now.