You should really consider paragraph breaks. I can't even read this at the moment. Everything just blends together into a treacherous and forbidding wall of text.
Date: 23 Aug 2015 04:00
Number of posts: 8
RSS: New posts
It has that feeling of this is real this happening. Like my favorite book "The Hunted" it has the feeling of horror like that but , the grammar needs a bit of work. I suggest you have a site moderator take a look at it as Rumetzen has or a friend see if anyone can help you. I mean everyone needs help at one point. Good luck with it I hope this progresses into a more realistic feeling. Oo.oO
Provisional +1. I like the ideas you present/allude to, but it's just a couple of scenes, without any real explanation or understanding of the stakes or… anything really. Hopefully this gets continued.