It could be that I am just dense as hell, but I don't really understand this at all. It reads more like a Dadaist poem, or a story with the middle 95% removed. There's no real conflict or… anything that I can discern. There are hints of something interesting, but that is pretty much all that there is. -1
Date: 31 Dec 2015 22:11
Number of posts: 2
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If this hits negative I'll go back in and revise it. I actually get this kind of criticism a lot. I guess I need to be more concrete?
The story is a bit of a vignette. The guy "wakes up" years later as an old man. The last thing he remembers is investigating the van, decades before.
I'm going for magical realism; "Does this guy have Alzheimers, or is there something funky going on in that area?".