Alright, first off I didn't notice any glaring SPaG errors, so good job on that.
As far as how well the piece flows, there are a few spots that I think could be better.
"Others take a utilitarian mindset when it comes to death." —> I feel that the transition from the previous statement to this sentence is a bit awkward. I can't fully explain my problem with it, but that sentence feels like a weird kind of interjection. As far as improving this, I think formatting the next statement like the previous would work best. —> "For others it is more utilitarian. A way to wipe the slate…"
"There are the occasional few who view death as the end result of their lust for violence." —> I offer a similar suggestion for this statement. I personally think it will flow better if these three examples all follow a similar formatting of the sentence.
"But for the tireless workers of Vitalis, It’s simply business." —> Maybe replace the 'It's' with 'death is' or something. As it is now, the pronoun is vague and undefined in the paragraph.
"Souls always need to flow through the doors to the afterlife and deaths are simply the ones to go out and collect." —> I don't think the 'always' is necessary. The word need in this context implies that it is always the case, so 'always' feels redundant. Also, the 'flow through the doors to the afterlife' portion feels wordy, so if its possible to cut that down a bit it would make the sentence flow better.
"…older deaths, releasing them out into the universe." —> I think that the 'out' in this sentence feels a bit redundant, though I'm a bit on the fence. Idk, you can easily ignore this one if you want :/
"…in the palm of one’s hands, …" —> Singular followed by plural. I would suggest changing to be only singular or only plural. I think this technically is grammatically correct, but it feels wack.
"Management was pleased, having an efficient new line of deaths who did their jobs without…" —> If you replace the comma after 'pleased' with like a colon or semicolon or something, I think this sentence works, but as is I think it is wrong. It could be changed to "Management was pleased to have an…" or even separate them into two different sentences.
"So what is death? It is as it always has been: A tragic affair." —> Maybe change the 'as' to 'what'? Since, by using 'as' the question asked in the previous sentence is not answered, since the question asked 'what', not 'how'.
Altogether Destiny, good shit. I do kinda wish there was more, like a couple more paragraphs, but I literally don't think there is a good way to expand this further. I'll just have to be content that not everything has to be 2k+ :(
It reads well, just needs a lil' polish, and what you're exploring is definitely interesting in the context of Vitalis and could definitely be exploited to set up some further stories. You will write more stories. This is not a request. Ok, good job and good luck!