Alright, it's been 24 hours and I've not been able to finish my piece. Technically this is up for grabs, although I've got big plans for this one if no one ends up taking it.
Date: 24 Feb 2013 07:07
Number of posts: 4
RSS: New posts
This one didn't interest me. It seemed to present a setting and sit on it, rather than tell a story.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I've written a tale upvoted by Djoric, Bright, Echo, Yoric, Moose, VAE and Voct, fite me irl if you don't respect
I agree. I suppose I like the worlbuilding you've aimed for, but you don't do much besides give a curt, overall description of this setting. There's also a few show-don't-tell issues: things like "Was I myself shaking with fear…", "I was stricken with wonder…", etc. I'm much more interested in knowing why this place was so wondrous and frightening, rather than just learning that someone else was frightened by it.