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GaffneyGaffney 21 May 2017 12:20
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Summer

I enjoyed this quite a lot, but the writing was a bit much in some spots. So far I have only read this and Summer, but I am enjoying the various forms that each article takes. Looking forward to reading the rest!

by GaffneyGaffney, 21 May 2017 12:20
by DecibellesDecibelles, 17 May 2017 16:36

Please don't be discouraged by this. A lot of what I, myself, write looks a bit silly after a while, but this is just part of the process. The most important thing is to put ideas on paper. Even if you end up not using everything, you will often find that some of what you've written can be used in another story. If you don't write because you think it doesn't sound good on the first try, you may never get anything written at all. One of my highest rated stories, And We Slipped Away, is actually a very small part of an immense, sprawling story, that turned out not to work at all (i.e. it was stupid), but this one part was good, so I got rid of everything else, and kept what worked. Even if you don't use anything, you've still learned a lot about what doesn't work, and practiced the good habit of writing.

Alright thanks for the suggestions and to be honest looking back parts of it are rather ridiculous. I'll be working on it. Thanks!

I'm not sure that I really get what's going on here. Presumably the paragraphs1 are from different bottles from different eras from members of the same family? I'm not really sure. There seems to be a thread running through the stories, but there's no real tension or escalation. The last paragraph felt more than a bit narmy to me, as the "Enter the deep" bit came out of left field, only to be repeated a dozen or so times.

I think this is a potentially good idea for a story. This needs some modification, however. First, I would try to make the individual messages more apparently distinctive. Putting them in boxes ("> wordswordswords") would go a long way to making it clearer, and breaking up the paragraphs would make it more readable.

Second, try to make the characters more distinctive. Other than being told, there's really no indication that these are different characters. Someone born in the 1800s would have a very different writing style (assuming they can even read and write) and outlook from someone in the modern day. Make these more apparent.

Also, try to weave the horror aspect into the story more. As it is, it's a bunch of horror tropes in snapshots of characters that I don't really care about.

Honestly, this doesn't read like a bottle. Maybe more of a diary of some kind, but even then, it's not particularly compelling or realistic. If you haven't already, I would check out Survivor Type by Stephen King as an example of how to do lower-key horror via diary.

When you feel like you've got another draft, feel free to repost it in this thread or come onto IRC and discuss it.

Re: Need feedback for story by GaffneyGaffney, 10 May 2017 00:32

I like the idea of this, but I think it needs some work.

I hope that's some help.

Hi, I'm working on a kind of story based on notes found in bottles and some sort of underwater horror kind of thing. It can be found here under the tab Dusty Old Notes in Forgotten Bottles on Forgotten Shelves. I would love some feedback, as I'm new to writing anything not poetry outside of school things.

Need feedback for story by Tesrec AmeginnTesrec Ameginn, 06 May 2017 20:33
Dr SoloDr Solo 04 May 2017 18:23
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Harmattan

Right. So. This was originally intended to be the last piece in this story. However: I have like, twelve more planned, so those will be along at some point.

by Dr SoloDr Solo, 04 May 2017 18:23
Dr SoloDr Solo 04 May 2017 18:21
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Polarus

What narrative is complete without two very similarly named poetry pieces.

by Dr SoloDr Solo, 04 May 2017 18:21

Hallelujah


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

Re: Random Tales/Stories by RogetRoget, 04 May 2017 13:29
Re: Random Tales/Stories by GaffneyGaffney, 04 May 2017 13:27

This is a piece of worldbuilding I've been meaning to get up for a while now. I've already introduced the seasons, and our narrator, but here are a few of the other main characters for the seasonal setting.

by Dr SoloDr Solo, 03 May 2017 23:26
Dr SoloDr Solo 03 May 2017 21:36
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Monsoon

Whoops, turns out I wrote this faster than expected. The next piece, An Interlude will be around at some point. Maybe later today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

by Dr SoloDr Solo, 03 May 2017 21:36
Dr SoloDr Solo 03 May 2017 19:04
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Serotina

Finally time I get back to work on this series. This is Serotina, the follow up to Lecana and the prequel to Monsoon (coming soon).

by Dr SoloDr Solo, 03 May 2017 19:04

This post is so awesome, it kinda reminds of Competitive Eschatology. Would be awesome if you could do like a cross over :D

:O by ThorlolkingThorlolking, 03 May 2017 18:39

That's probably doable.

Re: Random Tales/Stories by rumetzenrumetzen, 02 May 2017 22:10

The Temple of Mir is my response for the current prompt. Enjoy!

Re: New Articles 3 by rumetzenrumetzen, 02 May 2017 22:08

I actually agree with this, minus the giant rambling paragraph.


New_England.png
Re: Random Tales/Stories by TrarTrar, 02 May 2017 21:59

I know people have been talking a bit about CSS changes to the site in the wake of the recent Library reconfiguration. I have a simple request in this vein.

c900e35830c93b592817f2a4f800a4da.png

The SCP wiki has a little avatar/karma display next to the account widget. I personally find it pretty convenient.

6d3790b9564d2b7eda020b48758828b3.png

The Library doesn't have this. I'd appreciate it if it were included at some point; it would make the place that much more modern.


New_England.png
Minor CSS change by TrarTrar, 02 May 2017 01:58
rumetzenrumetzen 01 May 2017 19:04
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Lecana

I don't think there's a hub for them, but you can find a collection of all the stories in order on Solo's author page.

by rumetzenrumetzen, 01 May 2017 19:04
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