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I always thought the idea of the earth being the body of a living thing had a lot of unexplored body horror elements. Glad to see someone doing that idea justice.
+1

by Doctor CambrianDoctor Cambrian, 16 Nov 2017 18:36

Check out Of the Masters of Books its a poem that will go along with a story I plan to submit soon.

Re: New Articles 3 by FraizwriteFraizwrite, 14 Nov 2017 21:26

RecusriveRecursion is right (even if they are 1000% wrong about the state of the site): there are a lot of really wonky sentences. I would suggest that you re-read everything out loud and find out what doesn't sound right.

More negatively, this doesn't feel like something that should be on the WL as written. It's not terrible (although not good either) as ideas go, but the idea of the Wanderers' Library is to instill a sense of wonder. What I want from a good WL story is something that can make me feel like I'm reading an old, old National Geographic, or learning about an ancient civilization for the first time as a kid.

What this is is more akin to reading a book about tropical diseases, complete with color photographs. Even if it were pulled off with the epitome of skill, I would still probably downvote on principle.

To be honest, I found the end bit to be the most engaging part by far. If done properly, an article that focuses on the uses of unimaginably horrible interdimensional parasites, either as pets or food, would be quite fun to read.

by GaffneyGaffney, 14 Nov 2017 00:32
Re: New Articles 3 by Doctor CoyugaDoctor Coyuga, 12 Nov 2017 19:08

The Man Who Went Insane, deemed sane and released into the general public at -6.

Re: Deletions Thread by GaffneyGaffney, 10 Nov 2017 18:06

(Disclaimer: I've only written one article for the Library so far, and two tales in general so take my crit with a grain of salt, or feel free to disregard it at all ooo~)
Hm, I'm kind of conflicted. On one hand, I'm a sucker for fictional creature entries. On the other hand, you have some sentences that kind of don't jive to me, and a few breaks in an otherwise consistent tone. Also, I'm not sure how a snake that's over a foot long would be able to survive in a uterus for an extended period of time undetected for apparently thousands of years (your opening mentions that they are apparently a recent discovery).

No vote for now, but willing to change if the article improves :>. Also, you currently don't have the rating module. I would add it myself but I don't know if you intentionally left it out or not. Also your page is titled as 'uterus serpents'. If you want to change it to 'womb snakes' there is a way to do so by editing the title if I'm not mistaken.

Hello! I've just finished my first draft of a new story I hope to submit soon. Here is the link, and the story in question is the first tab.


As always, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!
IzsacIzsac 01 Nov 2017 02:13
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Ice Girl

Sorry I failed to expand the article because of my poor English…

by IzsacIzsac, 01 Nov 2017 02:13

So this idea came out of nowhere, and I decided to run with it. How do you all like it?

by Doctor CoyugaDoctor Coyuga, 31 Oct 2017 19:36

GaffneyGaffney, you are as handsome as Gaffney is. (did it work?)

Writing, posting stories, helping others, generally kicking around, asking for feedback, telling me how handsome I am. All these things will help to keep up the site, especially the last one.

Re: Is this (Great) site dead? by GaffneyGaffney, 26 Oct 2017 20:11

Anything worth doing to revive it?

Carrion
ionachtaionachta 26 Oct 2017 13:15
in discussion Forum Discussion / Ideas and Advice » Carrion

Spring is here, time to dance! The season to frolic and play.
Spring is here and can you hear? Those things are started to hatch!
A time of Blossoms, the rabbits feast, animals coming alive
The carrion feeders, the bloated swarm, the nurseries
In our corpses.
Look at the sun! So bright so kind, masking what lies underneath
Big flies, bloated flies, come and feast on our flesh!
Lay your eggs on our rotting skin.
Oh how the maggots shall feast!
Oh come now! Just frolic and play!
Don’t dread of such things as that! It’s spring after all
Be cheerful and kind, look! A bumblebee hive.
Full of maggots, is white so pure?
Haha! They stare as the feed
Everywhere! On everything,
The Carrion Legion flies!
The flies the flies, all those flies,
Buzzing and buzzing all day!
Oh it’s spring today! Come on hooray!
Oooh I know! Just what to do, follow follow today
I will show you the greatest of things
Come closer, come see
Find it, find it.
A sweetly rotting bed to lie on.
A sweetly rotting bed to lie on.

Carrion by ionachtaionachta, 26 Oct 2017 13:15

I feel like it could be worked on a little, like the wordplay. Find words that make the most sense when used in context.

by Professor ElysiumProfessor Elysium, 25 Oct 2017 23:13

The ritual is complete. And no, you weren't being a nuisance. You can also PM one of the admins about this in the future.

As for the article itself, I enjoyed it but wasn't blown away. A minor issue was that toward the end, the paragraphs tended to clump together. I'm not trying to fat-shame your story, but I do think some exercise could help break down those paragraphs and make it a bit more readable.

The idea itself is decent, but I never really got a significant sense of any real change in pacing or tone. Still, good is good. +1

FLASH BAM ALAKAZAM by GaffneyGaffney, 24 Oct 2017 10:14

My main issue here is that, despite being technically written fine, you don't actually have any interest until a bit over the halfway point, when SCP-999 finally is introduced. You have imagery about the moon and the forest that means nothing because there is no undercurrent of interest throughout the story. The main character is someone who spreads a lot of goodwill, and as a younger person, they went to go commit suicide before seeing it, but that's not like, enough to generate interest in me. You don't need something so fantastical or overblown, but there's nothing to really go on. I think you need to rework the structure of this story, or its flow, in a way where you grab my attention from the get-go. On this site, that's incredibly important; hooking the reader from the first paragraph on. I don't really have too much advice on this part. I think it might be worth considering examining the longer-lasting impact of 999 though. After all, even if its effects are long-lasting, it just tickles people. So why did this person feel as if their worries went away? How did they internalize it? How did they reflect upon this throughout life?

Your main character also has to be interesting, not just the scenario you give us. If you can do that, I think you can make this work. After all, the world is fantastical, even in its most mundane situations. 999 is the embodiment of that I feel, but what makes it fantastical as opposed to just anomalous? Why is our main character someone who we feel is worth observing through their eyes? Why do they do what they do? Again you don't need to make a long tale, but I feel as if this stuff is worth addressing to some degree.

Sorry to bump, but I was wondering if anyone who happens to have a better understanding of the tagging system than me would be willing to tag it or add it to one of the bookshelves. Thanks in advance and sorry if I’m being a nuisance

by RecursiveRecursionRecursiveRecursion, 22 Oct 2017 04:28

EDIT: idea backburned, new sandbox up

RogetRoget 16 Oct 2017 18:34
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Hurricane

It's a bit shorter than I would have liked but the imagery is good and I specifically upvoted for the last three lines.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 16 Oct 2017 18:34
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