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I like the whimsy and grimness on display here simultaneously, but it’s not enough of the material on display for me to call it finished and as good as it can be. No vote.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 20 Jun 2019 03:47
pokmpokm 19 Jun 2019 07:22
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Colors

I like it so i translated this to Chinese.
Hope you enjoy the charm of different languages.


很饿,并将一直很饿。

by pokmpokm, 19 Jun 2019 07:22

Thank you for your comments! I will continue to work hard.


很饿,并将一直很饿。

by pokmpokm, 19 Jun 2019 07:14

To start off, there are several basic errors with quotation marks, which makes the story somewhat annoying to read (but not impossible). For those, I would recommend reading through it again and seeing if you can catch them. As for the storyline, I feel a little confused. What is the narrator's connection to Laina? When I read this, this is the message I get:

The narrator meets someone named Laina —> The narrator and Laina become good friends —> The narrator and Laina rob a museum.

I just don't see how that kind of jump from friend to accomplice makes sense. You mention that the narrator and Laina have helped each other in the past, but you don't describe the extent of the help; for all I know, the narrator could have just helped Laina clean out her garage and there was a poisonous, lethal spider that the narrator killed. In short, consider adding more details to the relationship to Laine and the narrator, as the storyline is confusing, and frankly hard-to-believe without it.

I liked how you describe how the pair entered the Library. Cool description of a Way.

by Avelon21Avelon21, 17 Jun 2019 02:00
Re: New Articles 3 by Avelon21Avelon21, 14 Jun 2019 13:44

I liked it. Short and simple but really lets your imagination run with it. How long was the creature hiding in the empty locked spaces of the library? Only the docents know now.

Thanks to Avelon21Avelon21 for looking over the draft and fixing some grammar and spelling issues.

by VizloxVizlox, 12 Jun 2019 17:54

But then, others will know; will heard my pain filled cries, and seen my mangled corpse.

There's some weird grammatical error here with the change in tense.

I would have no-voted, because although this poem had an interesting start, it did not have a satisfying conclusion, but the tense thing completely killed the pace of it. -1

by VizloxVizlox, 12 Jun 2019 14:52

Author: CrowNoxCrowNox
Translator: JochoiJochoi
Original: 来自苍鸦慈善协会
Original book: 苍树与血 / Ashen Tree and Blood

Credits by JochoiJochoi, 12 Jun 2019 12:50

Author: CrowNoxCrowNox
Translator: JochoiJochoi
Original: 来自白雀失物招领处
Original book: 苍树与血 / Ashen Tree and Blood

Credits by JochoiJochoi, 12 Jun 2019 11:59
Credits by JochoiJochoi, 12 Jun 2019 09:47

All further deletions will be posted in the Librarian's Desk staff site, in the Deletions subforum.

Re: Deletions Thread by RounderhouseRounderhouse, 10 Jun 2019 02:47

Hm, I've been having problems recently regarding describing too much and/or leaving out too much; I'll keep this in mind next time I write something. Thank you for the feedback!

by Avelon21Avelon21, 09 Jun 2019 15:12

The prose here teeters on the edge of being purple, but I enjoyed the creative use of vocabulary and the fast pace and overall length of the story was right where it needed to be. +1


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 09 Jun 2019 00:49

Didn’t really enjoy the rhyme scheme here, nor the bit of repetitive language(the use of ‘field ‘ specifically) and the lack of imagery all put together to make this a dud for me.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 09 Jun 2019 00:47

I like the little twist of banality at the end there, makes this just substantial enough to be enjoyed. +1


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 08 Jun 2019 22:45

Author: pokmpokm
Translator: EatherACEatherAC
Proofreader: JochoiJochoi
Original: 逐龙者
Original book: 游人志异 / Bard's Strange Tales

Credits by JochoiJochoi, 06 Jun 2019 10:10

Would you like this page to be deleted, to allow you to repost it in the forums? This could be a fun conversation starter there but as a story it's almost content-free.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 06 Jun 2019 06:20

I'm not sure about the rhyming scheme, I only found a couple lines that seemed to click and the only emotion this left me feeling after reading it was confusion.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 06 Jun 2019 06:20

The content on display here is so light that it's transparent. There's just… nothing here.


Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

by RogetRoget, 06 Jun 2019 06:18
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