I, Lyle Alan Burnley, presently of the Place Beyond the Wastes, do hereby decree my final will and testament, rendering null and void all previous promises and vows made during death or near-death experiences. I, being of sound mind and body, declare Lucy Kohere, acting as representative of Ackerly & Sweetgum, Esquires, to be the executor of my estate and the witness of this document.
To the Trustees of the Pollensbee, MS Public Library, I leave $15,000 (USD) for the sole purpose of renovating shelves containing non-fiction works numbered 129.001-135.99 and 201.01-216.99, as well as the provision of books relating to the aforesaid topics. I hope that others may find as much inspiration as I once did.
To Dr. Malcolm Nine-Eyes-Davis, I leave all of my books on loan from the Library. Please return them in a timely fashion. I have no desire to learn whether Docents may pursue one beyond the grave for tardy returns.
To the firm of Ackerly & Sweetgum, Esquires, I leave my bodily remains as previously agreed to as payment for the execution of this document. God damn you all.
To the Flames, I leave the collected works of abu Malik abdul Basir al-Yettisheri, detailing the rituals and Gods of the Azmarite sect, as well as all associated notes. May mortal eyes never again see its like.
To the township of Pollensbee, MS, I leave the deed to my ancestral estate, all possessions thereon not otherwise disposed of, as well as the grounds thereof, excluding the family cemetery, for the creation of a public park. Twelve human bodies will be found buried in the immediate vicinity of the house. Of them, four are disappearances dating from 1973 to 1975, one is from 1895, and six are not of this specific world. There is also one body that is biologically alive, but lacking a soul. All bodies are in pristine condition, and may be disposed of as the township sees fit. None died by my hand or at my insistence, in the event that it matters.
To Gulnisa Akramova, I leave the disposal of all of the remaining tomes of my personal library. Please burn those books that will permit fire.
To the Waters of the Ocean, I leave those accursed books that will not burn.
To the charitable trust established in the name of my first wife, Juliette, I leave the red coral sculpture of the Pollaphysite Christ and All Aspects Ascending. I can only hope that this payment will finally rest your spirit.
To the Conspiracy of Whisperers, I leave the Poisoned Gospels, which I and Henrietta Julia Jackson stole in 1956. I assisted in one half of your revenge. I hope that I may yet avoid the other half.
To my second wife, Susan, I leave the grounds of the cemetery in which she was buried alongside three previous generations of Burnleys. May you continue to find it useful.
To the worshipers of Ammor, I commend whatever remains of my soul, as previously agreed.
To my elder son, Henry, I leave the bronze key in the lower right drawer of the desk in my study. May it bring you better fortune than it did me.
To my elder daughter, Matilda, I leave my collection of field recordings, as well as all of my research notes. One day, you will understand all of it.
To my younger son, Arthur, I leave all of my sins and all curses upon my person. May they rest easier upon you than they have on me. I am sorry.
I formally disown and disinherit my younger daughter, Laura, and do not acknowledge her as having any place in my family. May you use this freedom well. I love you.
Signed and witnessed in the presence of Lucy Kohere, June 22nd, 1977.