81st Turn, Seventh Year, Twenty-First Cycle, Skyday

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From the Journal of Aframos Longjourney, Pilgrim

With notes by Avos Torr, Scholar of Rheve Library

Skyday, Twenty-first Cycle, Seventh Year, 81st Turn

Sixtieth Day in the Trees

I realized today what is wrong with me. I think I suspected before, but I did not wish to admit it to myself. I still don't know I feel about it.

There is some relief, of course. I am not dying of anything. It is almost certain that I will regain my balance. But still…

I am not sure I am ready to become a female at my time of life.

I knew that it was possible, of course. It has never happened in my life, but my father knew a female who had been male. I am only familiar with the opposite change. Females become male often enough, especially when they are young. My brother was female, before I was born. But very rarely does a male become female, at least among the Baro. It is more common among the Desder, I seem to recall¹.

I was right about eating too much. Almost always, when this happens, it is because it is a time of plenty. I have been eating well. There were no females around me. Naturally, I began to change.

I have grown larger. I will probably grow a bit more, until I am the proper size for a female. My stripes will be gone. Inside… Inside, I feel the other changes. Already, I begin to notice differences in relieving myself, though I had taken those for signs that I had some internal ailment.

I suppose it doesn't really change anything. I must continue forward, and hope my quest is successful. If I ever do go back, the healers have ways to trigger a change, if I desire it.

I do not believe I will tell Torne about this. He is not of the Baro. He will not understand. Let him think I am still male.

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Footnotes

1. Baro and Desder are, obviously, sequential hermaphrodites, exhibiting both protandry and protogyny. When food is scarce, females change to males. When food is plentiful, males change to females. These changes typically occur during childhood. Combined with gender selection during conception, this explains why there are more males than females among the Baro, while the opposite is true among the Desder.