A Doomed Sailor's Words

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The ocean of emotion and the shore of rationality crash and eat away at one another in a frightening dance. And here I lay, in the middle, the untouched land, the valley of apathy.

I watch as the two titans embrace, bringing some of their masses down to where I am. I reach out to feel, to think something else but they are taken away as soon as they come. Left again alone, I watch as they continue their dance.

Seconds feel like dreadful eternities trapped in my mind holding out hope that something will come and lift me from this valley where pain is non existent but existence is pain. The inevitability of suffering makes every sound numb to my deaf ears. Even a god couldn't reach my valley. Nothing could reach my lack of anything.

I've heard people say sadness is the most torturous emotion but I know that they're wrong. Pure lack of emotion is the most torturous. The hollow feeling replaces even sadness. Crying doesn't help you get rid of it because there is nothing there. You are trapped only guided by temporary distractions. A bleak attempt to keep the true sorrow at bay. Even as you try you know its fruitless.

I am trapped in a valley of apathy between the ocean of emotion and the shore of rationality.

And I am still drowning.

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