Notice to All Library Patrons:
Magazine inserts are a commonplace, if somewhat vexatious sight, especially in our periodicals section and on the floor of the nearby reading room. Please be advised, however, that these irksome rectangles remain the property of The Library, and that its diverse inmates will not tolerate damage to or destruction of these items. Please refrain from discarding, folding, or marking on these inserts.
From time to time, the librarians will collect these cards and file them appropriately in the cabinets labeled Aleph-19 through Samekh-44. Duplicate subscription cards are available at the Periodicals Desk. The Archivist on duty can provide assistance if you wish to subscribe to one of these magazines, but on no account should you attempt to do so without guidance, lest you become encumbered with material which is incomprehensible, imaginary, or hostile to your form of life.
Thank you for your kind attention, and please enjoy your time at The Library.
Balthazar Grelanth
Periodicals Department
Pre-printed subscription card from Planasthai, 1983, issue 24 [filed in cabinet Yodh-55, shelf 14, box 33]
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Notification card from the final issue of The Non-Referential Journal [filed in cabinet Yodh-12, shelf 13, box 2]
Notice: Final Issue |
Loyal Reader, For decades, The Non-Referential Journal has brought you complete and up to date lists of all magazine articles that do not reference themselves. We have been an invaluable resource for logicians and philosophers everywhere, and had hoped to continue this tradition, but sadly, it is not to be. It has recently been noted that The Non-Referential Journal, being a magazine itself, and having never referenced itself, should of course be listed within itself. The thoughtful reader will immediately realize that doing so would cause The Non-Referential Journal to reference itself, thereby making it ineligible for listing in The Non-Referential Journal. Of course. by not being listed, our magazine, once again, must be listed. Despite our best efforts, we have been unable to resolve this problem, and therefore, with regret, we must cease publication of The Non-Referential Journal. Our sister publication, The Epimenides Quarterly, will continue to be published despite what you may have read in that publication. It is well known that everything printed in the The Epimenides Quarterly is a lie. yours with consistency, |
Notification card from Planasthai, 2008, issue 3: Forty-seven identical copies of this card were found in one magazine. Several had unexplained charring around the edges, and were discarded. [one copy filed in cabinet Kaph-02, shelf 6, box 19]
From Your Friends at Planasthai | ||||
Dear Friend, To better serve you, our beloved customer, Planasthai has simplified and consolidated its operations. This will result in substantial savings* to you. Accordingly, in the future, you may notice some minor changes to our format. with all sincerity*,
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Subscription card found inside a box labeled "Apples and Oranges". It is presumably for The Smullyan Report, although it is difficult to be sure [filed in cabinet Lamedh-38, shelf 9, box 71]
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Please check exactly one of the following boxes.
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