Agnosthesia
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I wore a dress today.

My bindings laid aside, my body free.
The raw flesh on the brink of infection,
Now given chance to plea.

I can only now be reminded of he.

I don't want to change her.

That little kid in awe at the critters crawling along the lands.
Those "friends" she fought dearly to save from the fisherman's hands.

I don't want to taint her.

That sparkling girl with missing teeth and a sense for danger.
Scaling trees with scraped knees, always a fierce entertainer.

I don't want to hurt her.

Such a beautiful woman with a marble-carved frame.
A perfect visage that sends those marveling at her fame.

I don't want to kill her.

To smite such elegance and take that rightful place as me.
Destroy that flawless beauty and finally become he.

But a goddess of grace would never allow such decree.

As She strikes with no blade but of the words many remark.
fast and sudden, the blood pooled before the sting of the heart.

I wish to kill him.

The thing that infected me to become less than perfection.
Bringer of fate I must suffer at the hands of rejection.

I wish to hurt him.

A binding of his soul tight in wrappings of anger.
The ribs warped, hair cut short, and the threat of a dagger.

I wish to taint him.

Given my lies of makeup, dresses, heels, and transgressions.
He stood proud, head held high, dancing on waves of oppression.

I wished to change him.

But he stopped to look at me with an understanding gaze.
I wished our end but he pulled me in, my mind lost in haze.

The future or the past.

Change or death to this thing I think is me.
"Beautiful" "gorgeous" "pretty" and "divine",

Those words flood and coil thorns in her design.

I wore a dress today,

and she screamed as I tore it away.

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