The Wretched Luncheon

Welcome, welcome! Table for one? Oh, dining solo, are we? Well, that's no matter. Is this your first time with us? I expect it would be — it's been many, many years since the Luncheon passed through this part of the Library. Don't be put off by the decor — it's just for flavor, you see. I'll be your server for tonight, so don't hesitate to call me over if you need anything.

Oh, don't worry about where the Librarians are. And you'll be more than welcome to find your way to the Ways once you finish your meal.

But you will finish your meal.

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MENU

Appetizers

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A Fond Memory

Wings
Deep-fried Library Wings, packed with stories! Don't ask us which former Chief Archivist they came from, but let's just say they're Seared to perfection. Gryphon-sized; come solo or in twos.

A Limb

Bickering Scholar Broth
An exceedingly rare stew, made of the remains of dozens of the Library's finest scholars, broiled over low-heat while they argued to their deaths. Academics.

A Soul

Serpent's Fingers
The Serpent's Hand labor under the delusion they own the Library; the Hand isn't nearly as effective without its fingers. Enjoy this selection of five different fingers from five different members of the Library's least-favorite, most-arrogant group of intrigue.

A Name

Bookburner flambé
All those burnt books provide wonderful kindling for this dish. The members of the GOC are barred from entering the Library, and you don't want to know what we had to do to get these ones in. At least it's a one-way trip.

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Entrée

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A Promise

Page Legs
Baked Page legs, cracked off at the knee. Packed with protein and baked for hours, these crunchy delights will have you climbing the walls for more! Come in groups of six to eight, depending on which Page they're collected from.

An Organ

Charred Chief Archivist
An entire segment of the notorious Rounderpede, smoked for hours from the inside-out and battered in our in-house sauce. Those with a taste for the insectoid will appreciate dining on this monstrosity, which measures three meters long and feeds an entire party of ten!

A Beloved

Rum-soaked Calamari
Malaise, seared then braised in a concoction of strawberry rum. Any poisons in this acidic cephalopod evaporate, leaving only the rich flavors of decades of liquers where water once was.

A Sense

Golden Magpie Thighs
The Magpies make it a habit to break into the Library, take what interests them, and harass patrons. Now feel free to return the favor to the avians — each thigh is large enough to feed an entire individual, and layered in the same gold-foil that attracts them so.

A Life

Smoked Thesaurus
Caught fresh from the dredged depths of the Sea of Words. These ancient monstrosities grow fat off the decomposing remains of what dwells above them, and avoid the eyes of Library patrons at all costs. Seeing one is considered a rare honor; we can only imagine how eating one feels.

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Desserts

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A Thought

Docent de leche
Who knew Docents had such a sweet side to them? Just don't ask how many we had to go through before we learned how to extract it.

A

Neverweretella
[OUT OF STOCK]

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You'll have to pay before you can leave, of course. Those prices aren't a joke — we're only in the Library now and again, and you wouldn't believe the operating costs. You can stay here and make your selection of what to give up, I'll get the hacksaw. It'll only be a minute — thank you for dining with us!