Ezazel, goddess of impossible: Black moon, part 2 of 2
rating: +2+x

A card fell from on high; the Death card.

A knight in black armor sat on a gray horse, with all the dead people of every social class around where the gray horse stood - all the figures contained in that Death card.

The Death card is an image that represents the change in life. But sometimes it also represents the very change of the "Life-Death-Rebirth" cycle, where each time we want to go through any rebirth, we must first go through a death. And there exists a force in the universe that operates in this way.

But that thing is not just the mortal Death. But it is the Death of All Things, the End of Time.

It will begin its work of returning everything to the Place-before-creation by howling.

And now it has begun to howl.

I curled up as i floated in this void.

I was brought here by my failure to stop a cosmic force from acting outside of its nature, and now that monstrous thing will freely bring the end to all.

It is my fault, i should not have left the place i was meant to guard, just because of my own sorrow. Just because of my selfishness.

Beneath the golden mask i wear, tears begin to flow. But this time, not for my own loneliness, but for the sin i have committed.

Oh, how many lives will end at the hands of the accomplice to this murderer.

My hands grip tightly the cloak i wear. Why?

Why? Why does the universe allow me to exist? If i did not exist, none of this would have happened.

Why Creator? Why do you toy with me like this?

I let myself drift aimlessly in this endless space. I no longer have the will to fight.

I raise my hand and look at it, look at the failure in the battle to protect the impossible world; i exist in a state of non-existence that the forces of creation will be reduced to when completely erased from existence, this is perhaps more like an expulsion than true death, for an gods cannot die or be completely erased.

I do not know how to leave here. I do not know how to escape this non-space. I can only let my fate lie in the hands of this place.

Oh Creator, will you let everything end this time or will you put your hand down and help everyone?

While floating in this void, i was brought to a strange place; it is completely enveloped in a singular white hue, with long white clouds laid out.

There was also a tall tower that itself was made up of smaller towers placed next to each other, each of which had a different height, and it seemed that there were life forms existed on top of those towers.

I fell to the top of the tallest tower.

And with eyes stinging from my own tears, i could see more clearly the life forms living upon these towers; they have a human-like appearance and are dressed in the garb of builders from across all eras and timelines, each wearing a golden mask.

These entities seem unconcerned with my presence, instead focusing on the construction work atop each spire.

And the tower i was standing on was no exception. There was a humanoid entity wearing an Egyptian-style loincloth, and that entity was constantly carrying large metal bars, attaching them to the top of the tower, in order to build new floors.

“Where is this? And who are you?”

I looked at the entity and asked. It does not answer or pay attention, but continued its work.

Even though i didn’t get an answer about what their “true nature” was, i could still sense a great power within these entities.

But now the question of who they are no longer matters, for all has become meaningless.

Everything will soon end, all those magnificent potentials will vanish, and only this void will remain.

I curl up in my ocean-blue cloak, and sit there in despair.

Unable to escape, unable to return, and worse, unable to save everything.

"What have I done?”

I whisper. And then i screamed into space.

"Why Creator? Why do I exist?"

I tilt my head down to the ground, and wait for a miracle to answer that question. But the only response is nothing.

Yet that void soon fades away as something answers my question.

"Who do you think you are to question the Creator?"

A voice echoed in my mind, and then gradually faded.

A light gradually appeared in the sky, dazzling my eyes and forcing me to turn away. The mysterious entities engaged in their construction work began to kneel down reverently as the light appeared.

I strained to look into that light to see what it was, and i began to discern a human form rising from the light.

The form took the form of a woman dressed in a long white robe, with a yellow breastplate, and a yellow mask on her face like mine.

The entity looked towards me and spoke.

"Greetings, Ezazel, Woman-of-the-Impossible. What wind has blown you to the domain of our kind?" The voice echoed in my mind as the entity spoke.

"Do I know you? But anyway, i came here because i was lost." I replied.

"Oh my dear, if you are truly lost, you must have been very far, for you have wandered to the very edge of existence and non existence itself.”

"I know, but what can i do, i don't know how to return. But even if i could go back, i don't want to return to my reality, for it holds a terrible mistake that i have caused." I turn my face aside as i speak to avoid the entity seeing the tear slowly escaping from the corner of my remaining eye.

"It seems you are having a bit of a crisis regarding your role, are you not?"

"How can you know about that?" I ask.

"Oh, most other cosmic entities face problems similar to yours, they are good-hearted but their roles often deviate from their desires, and it often leads some to lose their sanity and go mad."

"But I have not lost my sanity or gone mad. I just feel alone and adrift, for there is no one beside me."

"That is something every entity must endure, my girl. For loneliness is the companion of the exceptional.”

"But I don't want to be alone. I want to have friends and loved ones by my side, especially in difficult situations like this." I say, my hands gripping tightly onto my cloak.

"I think I will give up."

"Do not say that, my girl. If you give up, what will your father and mother, and your sisters think of you? You have to stand up for yourself and solve the problem you have.” The entity says, and I can sense a hint of anger in her tone.

I rise up and turn my face towards the entity, then shout out in anger.

"I have no parents. And if i did, i don't even know who they are.”

I wait for an angry response from the entity, but nothing happens.

"Why don't you know them? When they are all around you? Around everything you see?" The entity replies calmly to me.

"What?" I say in surprise. Could this entity know of my parents?

"The two parents you call father and mother are Space and Time." The entity traces a symbol in the air with its hand, leaving trails of golden light in its wake.

A massive golden beam of light appears beside the spire structure, and as the light fades, i see two colossal forms emerge; a pristine white-skinned giant man curled up, and a blue-gowned woman with silver hair, arms outstretched.

I look at them, and feel an indescribable familiarity towards both of them. But i have never seen them before to have this strange feeling?

"They - Theptis and Thu'um - are the gods of space and time, and thus are space and time itself. They define one another, and at the same time their own opposite concepts. Theptis is the space upon which all forms are drawn, but it is through Thu'um that these things become 'diverse' and distinct. Together, they contain all things.”

They are my parents?

"And you," the entity says, pointing a finger at me. "You and your sisters are the wave functions - the things that operate upon the framework of these two gods. You are an indispensable part, and yet you would choose to forsake that role?"

I gazed intently at the two illusory images created by that entity - Theptis and Thu'um - and my eyes sting in the process. Is it because i miss them so?

"Father, mother… where have you two been all this time?"

"Some say they vanished after all was created, others say they became one with everything." The entity replies.

"But i don't understand…. Why did they create a place of nonexistent potentials, what is the meaning of it?" I say, turning my face to look at the entity.

"Have you still not realized the misconception about your own role? The impossible defines the possible. If there were no genuinely impossible potentials, how could the possible potentials come to be? The impossible is the shadow of the possible.”

I recall the experiences i had through my recent journey into the possible worlds. The possible universes had collapsed and died when the impossible universes were interfered with. So i was wrong.

I close my eyes and tilt my head down, as an expression of acknowledging my mistake, the flawed perspective i had about my role in the universe.

Was it perhaps due to my loneliness that i had developed these hateful thoughts about this role and the impossible worlds?

The entity places a hand on my shoulder.

"Everything in this universe has its role. Nothing is superfluous, not even the negative concepts. For they create a balanced cycle within Theptis itself, and thus are manifestations of his own hierarchy," the entity says. "He too is a great tumbler doll - never leaning too far to one side in the balance of existence, not favoring order over chaos, not seeking to destroy evil while preserving good, for they are parts of him and he has no reason to tilt towards any side within himself."

I rise up, and now within me are no longer the negative thoughts about my role. Now, i have only one thought and singular purpose; to rectify the problem i have caused, and to learn to embrace my part in creation.

I looked at the entity with gratitude for helping me realize many things, and said.

“Thank you…. Thank you for helping me realize what i could not. If it is possible, could you and i be friends…ma'am?”

“Ha-Tu, or Priest of Order if you prefer.”

“Lord of Order?”


I was confused. A Lord of Order helping a creature of chaos like me?

“But if you are a lord of law, why would you help a creature of chaos essence like me?” I asked.

I heard a strange, feminine laugh echoing in my mind.

"Oh, my foolish girl. For that is what we Lords of Order would do. Order and Chaos always go hand-in-hand. Just like this tower you stand upon, if it lacked the adversity and change of chaos, it would never stand firm, and with each such trial, it only grows more steadfast," as Ha-Tu speaks, she performs magical gestures with her fingers, and a miniature tower appears in her hand. Then a series of different disasters begin to befall the tower, yet it remains standing. She continues, "however, there are Lords of Order who rule like tyrants, but we are not such.”

They don't seem as bad as what others have been saying. In any case, I'm grateful to her for helping me, but it seems i still have one matter to take care of before that.

"Ha-Tu, do you know a way for me to depart from here? For i have something to take care of.”

"For a mortal being, that would be nearly impossible, as this is the boundary where existence meets non-existence. But as a cosmic entity, you must go through your connection to reality."

I realize this is something i have done many times before, when those wishing to invade the impossible worlds would try to erase me (Though i was never sent anywhere after such erasure. Perhaps because in those moments i subconsciously willed myself to be reborn, driven by the desire to return and protect the impossible worlds.)

I close my eyes and let myself reconnect with my concept within reality. And through that, i return to the impossible worlds.

"Farewell, Ezazel. If you can overcome this, i will become your friend.”

The tree is the shadow of the world tree, now withered more than ever before. Its branches have mostly fallen off, and the remaining ones are beginning to wither as well.

Surrounding the dying tree is not just a small pool of slime anymore, but what could be called an entire sea, with tentacles sprouting from it and clinging to the tree trunk.

I approached the tree and shouted at the One-Who-Caused-This-to-Be.

“Black Moon. I have returned and i am ready to fight you.”

And countless mouths began to sprout all over the beast’s body, and they kept talking in turn.

“Little blue sheep … .returns…. only to be erased again….and only to helplessly watch the universe die.”

And when those words ended, countless tentacles sprouted and rushed towards me. I quickly evaded and severed those tentacles, and erased some of the tentacles with my reality-bending abilities.

I thrust my spear into the mouth of the monster, and it roared in pain. The other mouths started to converge on me and tried to bite my body, but i quickly flew away from there.

I knew i could not use my reality-bending abilities to kill it again; for it would erase me once more, and this cycle would repeat endlessly. I had to find another way.

The tentacles were unleashed once more, and this time they had caught me. Those tentacles pulled me towards a massive mouth and then hurled me into it.

And just before i was consumed by the endless darkness, i heard only one sound.

“Little blue sheep…has been defeated." And then a sinister laughter encompassed everything.


In that enveloping darkness, i had nearly lost hope once again, until.


A familiar voice echoed in my mind. Ha-Tu.

Listen to me. I know you are facing difficulties.

"Ha-Tu? What are you doing here?"

I have come to help you.

"But why?"

Because the problem you are facing is also related to our fate. The Bark moon represents the forces that lie between order and chaos - destruction, and thus it can end both sides when the moment comes.

"So what should i do, Ha-Tu? Because i'm very afraid of failing again."

Don't worry, my dear. Everything will be alright.

"How can i stay calm when if i fail one more time, everything will end?"

Don't worry. Because i am here with you now.

A luminous form started to appear in the darkness surrounding me. And that form embraced my body, dispelling all my worries.

I told you, don't worry too much.

The light from that entity began to illuminate everywhere. And i felt something within me. Something yearning to be released.

And i let it emerge as it wished. And from my body, a stream of light started to emanate.

The light from my body began to merge with the rays of light from the entity, and through that, it illuminated the surrounding darkness. Each beam of light pierced through a spot on the Black moon's body, and destroyed it from within.

"It hurts… Ezazel… it hurts… stop… please…" The mouths kept sprouting and took turns speaking in agonizing pain as its body was being torn apart by the blinding rays of light from within.

Do you know how to defeat the end of all things, Ezazel?

"I don't know. What is that, Ha-Tu?"

That is the beginning, my friend. And each of us carries that within ourselves.

I could feel it. Feel the warmth of the beginning, of the White sun before the dawn of creation. And now i radiated that light outwards to push back the darkness around me.

And then there was no darkness left at all. And the Dark Moon vanished as well.

"We have succeeded." I said as i looked for Ha-Tu, but she had disappeared at some point.

I approached the tree and realized it was dying. But i will save it.

I began to enter a state of connecting myself to the very concept of the impossible. And through that, i was becoming the cosmic center or axis that held the impossible worlds, and i had started to create an impossible phenomenon - a phenomenon that affected the very event that had destroyed these impossible worlds and erased that impact, causing those worlds to exist once more.

The tree branches started to regrow, and the impossible worlds began to come back to life. And so did the possible worlds.

I leaned my back against the tree after a tiring adventure of the day, and was also informed that; everything has meaning, even the most meaningless things, and that i still have an entire world out there to discover.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License