Ideas and Advice (new threads)

Crit Request: A Heart Formed for Friendship

Mon, 18 May 2026 18:26:28 +0000

howdy there, y'like john adams?

hopefully this site is okay with me playing around with historical figures like dolls. it’s sort of a plain piece, due to me wanting to write in first-person for the first time in ages

this is very much historical fiction, but the part about adams’s proposal to hannah quincy being interrupted by sewall and esther quincy is based on an account within David McCullough’s John Adams, at least.

+ who are these guys.

please call me out on any historical inaccuracies!! however, i know that i haven’t done an accurate job at how they spoke in the time period; i find it easier to read, but i’d love to incorporate historical figures of speech into this!

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/a-heart-formed-for-friendship here it is :D

Crit request: Meet Me At The Laoshe

Thu, 14 May 2026 23:54:47 +0000

Beijing, 1992. Three years after a great tragedy in June, one of those who witnessed it has a rendezvous at a teahouse.
(EDIT: I will be busy until tomorrow. Any concerns you may have with the content or setting, please contact me at once - I do not seek to trivialize certain events for my own gain, as stories such as these are meant to be a commentary on certain issues.)

Crit Request: Survival Instincts

Tue, 12 May 2026 02:29:25 +0000

Heyo! First time requesting crit, please go hard on me, I want this piece to be the best that it can be! It's already been looked at by some people I know, but I would still appreciate a few more eyes on it. Please heed the content warning on the piece. I'm not versed in writing sci-fi, and as such, not too sure about what's going on here, along with the medical stuff. More or less a case of "I'm 80% sure I know how this works!" and rolling with it. If you are educated on these topics, feel free to tear it apart! Although if it's the "actually there should be gravity" thing again I'm sorry man I'd have to rewrite the whole piece for that to work. I've accepted I'm wrong about it.

Piece Link: http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/scrimple-218-s-sandbox

Also, yes, I am aware of the em dashes, yes, I've been called AI before, no, I am not. However, if they are used incorrectly, do feel free to tell me! That is something I fumble often, my love for em dashes occasionally overrides my grammatical sense.

Crit Request- yrotS sdrawkcaB; Last Chapter

Mon, 11 May 2026 17:46:32 +0000

I'll start this off by saying it's supposed to look unfinished; that's part of the story.
Secondly, I mostly want to know if this kind of thing would work here, or if there's something that might prevent future additions to this sort of… Series?
Thirdly, I'm not entirely sure about the dialogue, and would like some feedback specifically on that. Not, like, someone to rewrite the entirety of the dialogue, but just a sort of… Rating… If you feel like giving more feedback than that, I'd really appreciate it, but no pressure whatsoever.
Fourth, the "narrator" (Anything written like this is meant to represent them) is sort of meant to be a guide that changes with every part of the story, like a mix of The Doctor from Doctor Who and the narrator from The Stanley Parable
And the "NOTES" underneath are just for me to keep track of my ideas
Also the names are definitely subject to change

Anyways, here's the thing! :)

Crit Request- A Nice Article on the Princeling

Fri, 08 May 2026 15:47:21 +0000

I am back from my absence with another tale, this time an article on a nepo-baby set in Sub Machina Angelus. I am planning to create my own story line in the setting an Eren is one of secondary antagonists, he is supposed to be unhinged and arrogant, so please check to see if it is okay or not.

SPAG is always welcome.

http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/dr-nepalwala

Crit Request: man as rock

Fri, 08 May 2026 15:23:25 +0000

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/john-audio
short maybe-poem I wrote while miserable. I hope it conveys properly

Crit Request: Rock Bottom (The Lord of Clinical Depression, Amygdala’s Advocate)

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 11:47:00 +0000

yes, this is heavily inspired by will wood's music.

some of you might recognize me from the SCP wiki! unfortunately they caught me: I'm 15 T_T

so I'll start writing here until the day my adolescence bids farewell…

anyway. here's my funky little poem. I hardly remember writing this, I must've been losing my mind! http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/picklemonstiez

Crit Request: Man on The Hill

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 19:43:05 +0000

first of my poems i might post, a series of connected haikus. I try to write with my heart in mind, but I'm not sure on this one. Let me know your thoughts!
http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/john-audio

Crit request: A Pawn

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 11:55:57 +0000

Hey all, I put one of my first poems into my sandbox linked here. Also, this'll be my first work on the site. It's called A Pawn, and I wrote it while thinking about the literal horrors of war and the fact that pawns in chess have become so clichéd an idea that we don't really think about the horror of your entire existence being to act as a sacrifice. So, this was my attempt to combine the two. It was also partially inspired by The Charge of the Light Brigade, albeit in a darker sense.

( http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/nformer another link in case the one above doesn't work)

What I think may be the weak point of my poem is that fifth line about the calvary. I've considered omitting some/all of the words "thundering gallop of the" to make it more concise, but I don't know if it would still get the same image across that way. My goal here was both to make the reader imagine the heart of the pawn beating loudly and quickly like the clip-clop of heavy calvary while also emphasizing the difference between vulnerable pawns and the armored calvary. So would it be more effective by cutting the fluff since that could be inferred, or should I keep it? And of course if you notice anything else that could be improved, feel free to let me know.

not a crit request : There is no such thing as ART

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 18:49:52 +0000

So, basically, I wrote kind of a follow-up to Similitudes a few days later, not as good, imo, it's more like the mad ramblings of a teenager stuck in his room which is his head, with thoughts bouncing off the rubber walls. It's about art, "art", art , and art, but not ART.

More specifically, it's about my thoughts of what art is and what it should be, at a very specific point in my life. My general views on this matter have changed (mostly through conversation with my mom, who is an artist), though, the closing thought did not. If any of you's interested in seeing this, maybe changed quite a bit, in this library, please tell me.

There is no such thing as ART

Crit Request: Time Travel Toast

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 00:55:13 +0000

This is my first time writing here. I would really appreciate any feedback to help make my writing better.
This story is the first part in a three-part series about two sentient slices of toast that travel through time while being chased by a pair of hyperintelligent Velociraptors. Obviously, it is quite bizarre, and that is by design. However, I also want there to be an overarching narrative with character development for both of the protagonists.
http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/tacolaser

Help me pls

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 21:27:08 +0000

How do i even start writing in here? What can i write? Does it HAVE To be Stories? Or can i make Something Like a fictional Newspaper or Something Like That?

Crit Request: A Dark Story

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 10:21:37 +0000

Hello, everyone, first time writing here. I have this short story written in the style of a dark fairy tale.

I would like to know if this suits here, and any constructive criticism is heartily welcome.

Sandbox (hopefully this is how I was supposed to name it, if not, apologies): http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/smalltootheddog

LBL Request: Stories of the Serpent

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 02:05:30 +0000

I need a LBL of the piece in the first tab here. In addition, I'd appreciate any thoughts on the order in which the pieces are placed and if reviewers think another order would work better thematically or have a better flow.

Crit Request: Argon-Blue Determination, Carbon-Fiber Dreams

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 17:23:45 +0000

Returning to posting on the WL with this piece.
Looking for some feedback, so I can get it tightened up and of acceptable quality to post.

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/meltedbee

Last tab. Mostly curious about if the story goes on too long, if the vibes are right, and if it makes sense. Anything else is appreciated too.

Thank you in advance,
Rosie

Crit request : Similitudes

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 04:08:12 +0000

Wrote whatever the hell this is in june of last year, been wondering if I could post it here or if it'd get moderated into oblivion ? I honestly have no idea what I wanted to convey when I wrote it.

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/similitudes

(btw, I am still looking for crit on my other pieces, if anyone's feeling generous of their time and attention.)

Crit Request: The Decades of Chaos: Second Welcoming (3.3k words)

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 03:24:30 +0000

Link: http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/sandboxdoemd (under the Second Welcoming tab)

Word count: ≈3,300 words, ≈21,000 characters (there's a lot to unpack)

Main concerns:

Is the lore comprehensible enough?
Is the wording at least okay?
Are there any plotholes?
Is everything believable relative to the story?

Crit Request: Writprompt Solo Piece

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 15:27:17 +0000

Hello, requesting opinions on my prose-poetry on the horse piece below the main poetry piece. This is mainly going over strength f resilience and the bitterness of it, but I'm not sure if it's coming off effective.

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/pallidalbumen-s-birdcage

any opinions are welcome

Crit Request: Introduction to EMPATH

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 16:21:42 +0000

-Disregard, I'm making this a separate thing-

Crit Request: The Coming of Ayakc

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 22:39:38 +0000

Hello! I wrote this piece for my creative writing course, and I wanted to put it on the site as well. I don't often find myself making crit requests, but since this one is Foundation-related, I wanted to get some feedback on whether or not I should post it here. It is not formatted like an SCP article or anything like that, but it blends elements of the Foundation alongside prose. Feedback?

It's the third tab at this link: [http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/disturbedaeons-2]