Comments for page "A City Wrought of Silken Thread"

(no title)

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 05:58:05 +0000

For me at least, the descriptions of the beauty of the city showed to me what the speaker loved, which betrayed his somewhat selfish(ish) desires that led to the city's fall. I can definitely see where some more description was needed, but it didn't come to mind until I read the comments. I like plenty enough of the story to upvote still though

(no title)

Sun, 24 Jan 2021 22:10:48 +0000

Thank you very much for this feedback! I do agree, now that you mention it — I really should've gone more in-depth with the speaker's experiences than I did, and I will consider revising it after the contest is over.

(no title)

Sun, 24 Jan 2021 05:48:37 +0000

Though the main character certainly expresses how fond and impressed he was by the city, we as readers don't get to see too much of what made them like it so much. The description of the city is rather quick, and the rest of the story focuses on the fallout of the character intervening in an isolated city. What's in here isn't bad, it just doesn't feel like it goes well explained but the narrator.

AP

Sun, 24 Jan 2021 04:11:02 +0000

yeah, i know. not too creative with that title.

anyway, thanks to Pedagon, YellowISlol, and Karablue9482 does not match any existing user name for critique.