One type of text being boxed and formatted in a more strict way is enough to differentiate between them I feel. The whole A: Dialogue B:Dialogue thing was actually more of a way to avoid the issue of balancing excessive verbosity and repetition in inquit formulas, which is to say: I wasn't sure how to not say "A said, B said" all of the time. I'm not sure if that is better or worse, but I feel that solution has a simple effectiveness to it. Not sure if that is actually true though, or just the way it feels to me. The points where it crosses from prose to drama notation are real weird though. I probably should have written a version where it's all just prose to see if it would be better.

A: Dialogue

B: Dialogue

format was a bit of a misstep, felt weird blended in with the regular text. I know you did it to differentiate them but I'm of the opinion that in a piece like this, letting it remain ambiguous and implicit could've been tasteful. But other than that, yeah, good stuff. Pretty bleak, especially with recent events, but that's far from a point against it. It did feel very melancholy, very end-of-the-line, which I imagine you were trying to pull off. If so, well done.

Ok, but for real, this is nice. I like the dichotomy between dialogue and prose, it's really interesting and I always appreciate when this type of writing is pulled off well, which this piece does. The ending is also gold, I love that tinge of humor in things when it's apt.

+1~

destinysday

Piano_WL

I would also like to officially denounce the county and city of Champaign Illinois, for maliciously harboring a typo.