Comments for page "Miraculous Child"

(no title)

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 14:16:08 +0000

Oh snap! The Silver'd Fabulist! What a pleasant surprise. I do feel like in your efforts to match the style of this character, you created a lot of wonky sentences that just went on for too long. The sentence that starts with "The parents knew well," was the most egregious for that, imo. However, this did feel like the perfect story for the Fabulist, with the signature odd morals, and that last line was a banger. I like Adiaptus. I think if you put some effort in going line-by-line this could be a lot better in its presentation, but for me the piece is strong enough already.

(no title)

Sun, 03 Nov 2024 14:14:21 +0000

I'm going to upvote here, but call it a tenuous upvote. I echo Ava and Zip's criticism of the story, but the fact remains that I still enjoyed it, especially the unique voice of the storyteller. True, the story is rather plain, but many stories are, no?

Half-blind +1.

(no title)

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 22:03:30 +0000

the prose fit the work's themes and function, and the words were delectable. The story is pretty and plain, but tells itself well. nominating for the satiating cupcake given here.

-Styg

(no title)

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 21:13:13 +0000

gosh, i'm torn. i do think that there's a tendency to wordiness here, but it isn't done in a particularly elegant or beautiful way — im not struck with the way the phrases turn, mostly. occasionally it lapses into feeling a little like "writing with the thesaurus open". that being said, it was interesting to read on a conceptual level, and i think it definitely delivered on your prompt thematically. i'm also a bit intrigued — i am unaware of the character in play here but perhaps the writing style is emblematic? not sure. for now i am novoting but i need to marinate on it a bit.

(no title)

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 16:34:05 +0000

Huh.

While the prose and the story is interesting, it feels lacking in a way I can't quite place down or accurately surmise. It feels odd to read and while the meat is tasty the substance isn't there?? I'm so mixed on this. I'll have to return to it.

(no title)

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 01:08:03 +0000

Ah, the Fabulist returns. I am quite endeared to this character, so your contribution to his many stories is most appreciated. You might just have convinced me to try and add my own in the near future.

(no title)

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 23:39:01 +0000

i found the prose exceedingly verbose, and i found the story itself too simple to compensate.

(no title)

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 20:28:22 +0000

In the most common of understandings of the trope of Deus ex Machina, as utilized in the ancient Greek theater, the God to be lowered down to earth to solve any and all issues was delivered via crane. Now, the crane as in machina, machine, but… Well, when you get an idea and it don't wanna leave, can't do much about that.

Also, let the record know that this started as a poem so I dunno what the hell happened lmao. Happy pomegranate everyone!