Comments for page "the kings we'd be"

(no title)

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 20:31:56 +0000

Genuinely devastated. This is so good, and so raw, and also the Green Moon is here, hello????

Insane stuff. Easiest +1 ever

(no title)

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 20:11:17 +0000

Edited according to this feedback!

(no title)

Sat, 30 Nov 2024 22:57:36 +0000

I like about this piece. The imagery is staccato fireworks in the green-eyed night, bursts of stardust wrought from the high-fantasy noir world it takes place in. It's flavor is sour with hints of raspberry, hints of sweetness in desert dry nights. Unfortunately the dialogue is a sticking point for me. Its good but it's not great— there are moments where it really falls flat for me, and moments where it really does succeed. That's definitely where I feel it needed the most polish— it's good, but in certain places (especially the interstitial moments between the daughter and her handler/father) it feels stiff. Wonderful concept that I enjoyed reading and happy for the piece to see the light of day.

(no title)

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 20:34:10 +0000

I said it multiple times while I was reading over the thing when it was just a WIP draft, but I utterly adore the gritty, buzzing neon swarmed by flies atmosphere you built here. It's visceral and brutal, it's uneasy. The relationship between the two characters is enthralling. It's a matter of "I hate him and what he does and says, but I love to watch him work." Wonderful stuff.

(no title)

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 19:34:54 +0000

Formerly the halloween event prompt 'what's behind the door'
special thanks to din, uc, and akam for looking over the piece, and din especially for help tuning it to existing canon onsite!