-You use "man" and "woman" a few times, which is something I try to avoid in Over Root and Under Loam stories because they connote human characters. I'd recommend using "mouse" or "rodent" or "creature", or if you need it to be gender-specific words like "lady" or "miss" and "gentlemouse" or "Syr".

-This could do with a touch more scene-setting- what you have is good but a description of Orpek coming into the bar from outside (it would likely be inside a larger burrow) would help this setting establish itself a touch more. Something like Orpek squeezing his way to the front past some patrons and awkwardly and gruffly apologising might be a good way to establish the vibe inside and the sorts of people in the bar.

-A few of your sentences are a bit overrun and could do with being broken up a bit.

"Common occurrence?" Orpek asked the query, trying not to sound interested, but honestly, he was curious if he would make a move or not, as she seemed to be alone too, and just as outcasted as he was in the chaos of the night. The barkeep, whose name he had learned was Wynn, nodded.

This particular sentence also tells us information that would better be introduced via dialogue. The narrative you've chosen here is wonderfully simple and I think grounding it in telling it to us in a single incident rather than an overview would make it a touch more satisfying.

Overall, a good piece! Very sweet, the canon doesn't have a lot of romance thus far and it provides a nice counterpoint to the story I wrote for the end of this collection.

My story entry for Vish's collection. This one is quite short, so I'm more looking for general advice to improve the story, if it needs any, within the short word count limit. Does this count as a sort of bravery? I thought it did. Name suggestions can also be taken, as I'm not sure what to call it.