Re: The God of Pollensbee

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 22:06:32 +0000

(I'm obviously not the most qualified guy ever to give crit, so standard 'take this with a grain of salt' disclaimer. That said, I'll try my best!)
I really liked this story overall, it's a pretty nice! The 'branching' puns are especially entertaining, as is the buildup to the reveal, and the description of hellscape Pollensbee.
That being said, it does drag on a bit in the middle, in my opinion at least. I feel like some of the bits in the middle (the bit about the notes in particular) could be condensed. While they do get the point across that she's trying to fix the town, they ultimately don't add much to the story other than a plot device to get her out of the house.
Really enjoyed this, it's great at creating an almost dream-like feel to it, especially the descriptions of how her reality bending works! Hope it does well!

The God of Pollensbee

Wed, 10 Jan 2018 11:46:32 +0000

It's a story about a woman who had big plans for a small city. Under the first tab.