You don't remember how you got there. A bleak, dull sky rested above you. The air felt suffocating- but not enough, as if it were teetering on the edge of oxygen poisoning. The trees swayed beside you in irregular, almost glitchy, patterns, through wind you couldn’t feel.
The ground felt cold on your hands as you pushed yourself up. Looking around, you seemed to be in some kind of park. Cut grass lined the fenced area, with a stone path leading to a metal gate. Despite swaying in the wind, feeling cold to the touch, and appearing green before you, there was no life there.
The path was shorter than it looked. A metal gate towered before you, its bars bent into the shape of two angels meeting at the opening handles. One seemed more desolate than the other. They reached hopelessly into the air. Behind the gate a leather bound book bent a tree branch into the ground, swinging on its thin string.
The gate itself was padlocked from the outside. You would have to find another way out, perhaps a tree?
Beside you, black branches grew high into the sky. With some effort, you launched yourself up onto the side of one tree, grasping onto the branch and hauling yourself up. From one branch, onto another, and another, failing to keep your skin from scraping.
It was only when you jumped down that you noticed the scrapes. You didn’t feel any pain, or any exhaustion, or sweat. Unusual at best- worrying at worst.
At any rate, you were out of the park. The leather bound book continued to sway in the wind, and the string snapped as you took it. The pages were wrinkled and old. The leather itself cried out beneath your fingertips, cracking and breaking, and the ink was dull and lifeless.
With as fragile a touch you could manage, you began at the first page.
DAY 1
So, uh, I finally got myself a book and some ink. i’m writing with a stick right now but i’ll fix it when i get a pen. the papers are kinda loosely tied together so I’m just hoping i don’t drop it into water or ink or something.
man. I’m not used to writing a journal or something. dad always told me to keep notes on my life like a diary, but i was just so inconsistent, i quit every time i tried.
So uh, since i’m planning to make this like a daily check in, or maybe a handbook? i’m gonna leave it somewhere where I started so you can find it. when i’m done. i hope you can find me, with or without the book. i mean, i should be nearby. you know i don’t like travelling too far.
Anyway!!! let me go ahead and get on with the handbook.
The page ended there. The rest was torn away, the edges of the tear covered in long dried ink.
Looking up, you saw before you a long road. It seemed to be a residential area, with all kinds of identical houses side by side, the only difference between them being their colours and the number on their doors.
Finding no point in standing endlessly in one spot, you made your way down the sidewalk. Hopefully there was an easy way to find this unknown author.
I DroPPED THE pagE in iNk im sorrY still wriTinG wiTH A sTick
DAY 2 i think
It took me a bit but i figured out the dip pen. I’m really glad I got fixated on calligraphy that one time or I wouldn’t know shit about this thing. it feels so much smoother. (This liquid ink sucks though)
anyway! I’ve made a lot more progress now. I’ve got some kind of housing area right now. Everything kinda looks the same. same rooms, same colours, hell even the cars in the driveways are the same. it’s all just too- samey. i think you get it.
i’m gonna try and find some more creativity around here- these houses are empty but hopefully the rest of it isn’t.
anyway, I’m gonna start making handbook entries for you. I still don’t know what to call them, but when i figure it out, i’ll call them that.
handbook entry number one!
This place is hell to navigate. Look behind you every time you can, and try to memorize your surroundings- everything looks the same so far and its easy to get lost. if it helps, write down what you see here. I’ve been keeping track on a separate paper in my pocket.
At the mention of the handbook entry, you took a moment to look behind you. Halfway down the residential road. The park looked farther away than you expected, and for a brief second you had thought the trees had stopped swaying.
You turned back to the next entry as you continued.
DAY 3
nothing really new to report. handling the pen a lot better now, you really do get used to the grip of it. the roads have painted lines now, and the cars are all different models. the same color though, and thats still annoying enough. I’ll skip to the handbook entry (still no name)
handbook entry two!!!
the sun currently doesn’t move on it’s own. Right now its set to early morning, honestly better than midday. its not too hot and the pavement doesn’t burn my skin. if you need to sleep, there should be beds in the houses. don’t worry about breaking in, they’re all abandoned.
Grab some extra blankets from other beds and you can make blackout-style curtains.
I’ll call it here. Also think i’m gonna call these “tool tips.” let me know what you think when you find me!
A small smiley face sat on the bottom of the page. You smiled a little bit in return, out of habit, and looked up from the journal. An empty parking lot surrounded you. White lines dictated the parking spots, cutting abruptly into the suburban, grassy lawn.
The pavement stretched as far as the horizon. There was no structures around, no building to break the bleak landscape. With no direction to follow, you turned to the book once more.
TURN LEFT
You could barely discern the crude drawing on the bottom of the page. Rows upon rows of parking lots reached out from two stick figure homes scribbled at the very bottom of the paper. On the top of the map, to the left side, you squinted and saw a set of swings.
The rest of the page was left blank. With nothing else to guide you, you turned to your left and made your way through the parking lot. The light of the sun died down as a cotton-like cloud covered its light. Holding a hand over your eyes, you could barely see the light of the sun in the sky. For a moment, you thought the sun appeared red, but the brightness of the light stopped you from confirming it. Well, it wasn’t an important detail anyway, and you had lots more pavement to cover.
A several hour journey stood before you, and once more, you turned to the book in your hands. Skimming through the pages, the majority of the ink spoke of personal details and small moments. Nothing you wanted to pry into. Flipping a handful of pages ahead, you finally landed on one.
DAY like, 16? 17? I’m going with 16.
Finally covered the parking lot area. Lines are painted and dry- think the space is perfect for some kind of mall? Its a massive project though so I’ll do it later, as usual
Tool tips!
The parking lot seems really, really, reallllyyyy long right? Well, it's not. it's a short little 5 minute walk. Time is a skill! you’ll learn how to master it eventually, or at least parts of it yeah? Don’t think too hard about it. I’ll explain it later probably. When I have the words.
Looking ahead, the parking lot stretched for hours. Behind you, the row of houses was nothing more than a colourful speck on the horizon, despite having only walked for about five minutes. The swing set seemed just barely closer by now, but where else was there to go?
Sunlight returned over you as you turned to the book once more. These tooltips were confusing, but there could be something helpful within them.
Tool tip 3!
You don’t need food or water if you don’t want them, but hey, if you miss the taste of food don’t worry. There should be a restaurant here eventually, though I’m not sure which one yet. A burger shop? Maybe an ice cream parlour. Well whatever it is, feel free to just take the food when you find it.
Tool tip 7!
If you find it, don’t look into the void. It really hurts your eyes and its just not worth your time. And please, PLEASE don’t reach into it. Really isn’t worth it. you will regret it for a long time.
Tool tip 11!
Please ignore the park. It’s just, bad, I wasn’t really thinking, so.. just pretend it doesn’t exist. I’m gonna regret going back to put this book there when I’m done.
A tiny frown sat below the tool tip. Drips of ink had dried down the page, staining the following paragraph.
As you looked up, you found the swing set maybe another minute away from you. Behind you, the parking lot stretched across the horizon once more. Perhaps these tips had something to them, it sure hadn’t felt like a several hour march.
The swing set was a bright red, with rusted chains and loose screws holding each piece together. One of the swings swayed in the wind continuously, despite being empty, rising and falling and rising again. You watched it swing for a couple seconds before reaching out to it. At the lightest touch, the swing lost all momentum, falling motionless and close to the ground.
Mulch laid across the floor, covering the entire area, with playground equipment built into the land. On one side there was a sandbox, with a plastic shovel and a small castle bucket. On the other, there was a very tall plastic slide. A couple of the rungs were worn down and broken with loose bits of plastic.
You walked past the swing set, across the slide, past the bouncy horses, and to the end of the playground. You stopped there, checking the following area before continuing.
Before you, a massive cliffside dug into the ground. At the bottom, a raging, but silent, river ran out towards your left. A thin bridge hung over the river, held up by cracked wood and worn down rope. The river spread as far as you could see, from a waterfall to the left, to the depths on the right, and out towards the horizon.
This wasn’t a bad place to stop and rest for a while, so you did so. The swing set made for a comfortable seat, and you lay the book open in your lap.
Day 23
I tried to make life. Emphasis on tried. It didn't really work out. The animals just acted like, machines? They were creepy and wrong and kept whispering things to me I didn't like. I got rid of most of them, but some of the more slippery guys managed to get away. It doesn't seem like they feel pain or anything so.. I'll deal with it.
Day 27
I keep forgetting to write in here, but uh.. well I kinda broke my leg a little? I mean it’s not bad, but I have to stay here for a while to rest. Good excuse as any to keep this up then. Guess i’ll try to catch this thing up?
Past few days have been more of the same- painting, molding, creating. The usual. I ran back to the housing area to fix up some bits and pieces, I remembered them so now all the cars look like different models. Spices things up some.
Finally caught the little buggers. Two squirrels and a snake- threw them into the void. Nothing escapes from there.
My head’s been hurting recently so I’m gonna try and make pain meds. All this reality work leaves me just exhausted. My leg doesn’t hurt though, I only noticed it broke when I stepped wrong and just, collapsed. out of nowhere really. I guess that’ll be my little tool tip for today.
tool tip
you don’t really feel pain while you’re here, so make sure to check in with your body every once in a while, so you don’t end up like me.
i miss you so much oh god
I’m tired of building big areas. I think I’ll start going in more of a straight line now. When I get better.
Day 32
The sky finally looks okay. The clouds could use work, but whatever. I'll do it later.
When you get here, I'll find a way for us to fly through them. Maybe I'll carry you into the sky. You always called me an angel.
Day 58
If you’ve gotten to the playground by now, don’t use the slide. I didn’t really know what I was doing so it feels really scratchy.
Anyway, the important bit. Don’t use the bridge to cross the river. Its faulty and partially a hallucination I think? Anyway I buried a hook and chain under the swing set, if you hook it onto the rope you should be fine. Count your steps if you gotta, multiples of 7 are steps that don't exist. Make sure to sit down at the end if your heart is pounding. Mine was, I hate the heights.
wish the river hadn't dug the dirt out so far while i was busy
With a hint of where to progress, you closed the book and set it on the ground. You dug into the mulch below you, and not very long after you began, you found a sort of hook connected to a short rope.
After reading the instructions once more, just to make sure, you wrapped the rope around your waist twice and tied it tightly. You clipped the hook onto one of the shaky ropes of the bridge, and took a step forwards.
You kept a vague count of your steps. At step 7, your foot fell through the wooden panel, though you pulled yourself up and stopped to catch your breath. That's what they meant by "hallucinations."
You monitored your steps much closer now, skipping the numbers 14, 21, 28, and so forth. The wood creaked below you, sometimes cracking and breaking, and the river seemed meters and meters below.
It felt like hours before you reached the end of the bridge, undoing the rope on your waist and collapsing towards the ground. You rolled over on your back and waited to let your adrenaline die down, watching the gray clouds slowly drift by. They looked shapeless and solid, instead of fluid and shifting one into another.
After a couple minutes, you returned to your feet. An endless grass field stretched on before you.
Day 60 81 149
Why did you leave me.
Why did you leave me like this? Really, what did I do to you? I thought we were really supposed to be best friends. Isn’t that what you told me? Oh god I’m so sick of your lies.
You left me here. You told me you’d come find me. It’s been so long. I KNOW it’s been more than a hundred, two hundred days. I just- don’t count them all. I haven’t even figured out the night cycle yet how the hell am I supposed to keep track? Fuck this day system. The calendar never made sense to me anyway.
Fuck this place. I’m done coming back and fixing things up and making this a livable reality. This reality was given to me, to mold, and I will make it whatever the hell I want.
Have fun trying to find me.
im sorry if the next bit doesn’t make any sense. you know i still love you. i'm sorry.
The plains continued for hours. The sun began to move as you walked, rising high into the center of the sky, then dipping back down again. As the sun headed down toward the horizon, you reached the end.
Grass faded into dirt. Dirt faded into pavement. Pavement faded into a parking lot filled with cars.
A massive structure stood towering above you. Several apartment-like buildings, with hundreds of windows, each closed and hidden by curtains. The sun dipped farther into the horizon. You passed by several cars, reminding you of the cars by the houses earlier. You noticed there was only 5 types of cars, each recolored and placed into a new parking space.
The pale sunset colors shadowed a figure atop one of the structures. A scarf flapped in the still unfelt wind, alongside a pair of feathery wings and a pillar of smoke emitting from their head. Small white feathers flew down from the building, slowly landing on one of the cars, acting as a beacon to the building the stranger was on.
She towered over the land. High above anyone else, anything else, everything else.
Her hand stretched out into the sky, grasping the sun and pulling down towards the empty void before her. The sunset faded through the sky, pale, unfinished colors shining on her body. She never got the colors right.. She wished she had paid attention to the sunset more.
With a flick of her wrist the sun moved of its own momentum. Fading into the void, darkening the newly created night sky. Specks of white paint splattered through the dark blue night- without the glow. She never figured out how to make the tiny stars glow, not like the sun.
The air was suffocating, burning through her head, flames glowing on the ground below her.
Her wings stretched as she did. Behind her, a corpse lay on the ground. Bloodless skin, lifeless eyes, motionless muscles. She'd abandoned it recently, finally figuring out a new body to live in- a more comfortable one. One she loved, for perhaps the first time.
She stared at eyes.Oh, if only she hadn't been so ambitious.
why.