See The Darkness / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page See The Darkness.

(account deleted) 22 Mar 2019 15:22

This isn't bad as far as poetry goes, but that's all this is - a poem. There is no connection whatsoever with the Library, or anything outside of the poem. If there was, I might be more inclined to upvote. As it is, this isn't anything more than a fragment. -1

You've written several things for the Library now, and they all show elements of your talent. They've only been a few paragraphs in length, though. The Library is a place for stories, and I want to see you try to actually tell a story - beginning, middle, and end. If you want to bounce ideas off of someone, you can PM me or join the #wandererslibrary IRC.

0ktober 12 Jun 2019 14:52

But then, others will know; will heard my pain filled cries, and seen my mangled corpse.

There's some weird grammatical error here with the change in tense.

I would have no-voted, because although this poem had an interesting start, it did not have a satisfying conclusion, but the tense thing completely killed the pace of it. -1