I can help in a few hours. Check back later; I'll edit this message so it will have a list of everything you need to fix.
EDIT: Suggested Corrections
-"qualities that were priced" Change "priced" to "prized"
-"a Homo Sapiens Sapiens." Do you mean just "a Homo Sapien", which refers to one human being ?
-"He knew it was because he lacked company, but would not try to make contact" This part could be made better by changing it to, "He knew it was because he lacked company, but he never tried to make contact."
-"plenty of founding from a nation " I think you mean "funding" instead of "founding".
-"the first thing Fred did was to name her" I suggest removing the "to" here.
-"Her past name, or rather identification number," Add "her" right before "identification number".
-"like you would speak to an infant." Add a "how" right before the "you".
-"carry very intricate conversations." Add an "out" after "carry"
-"It does not matter the fact that you are able to think." Change to "The fact that you are able to think does not matter."
-"new inspiring discoveries" Add a comma to separate "new, inspiring".
-"ideas were flowing through" Change to "ideas flowed through"
-"She was staying in a room," Change to "She stayed in a room"
-"Only if she knew it would hurt." Do you mean, "If only…" ?
I like the story here a lot, by the way !