So, I have many people I want to thank, but the people I feel deserve special mention are Rumetzen, Sebarus, and Saoirse2ee, who all helped me out on discord.
Euclid, Aristarchus, Aristophanes, Eunapius, Bishop Theophilus, and Caliph Omar are all real people, and the three entries are all based on real theories of who burned down the Library of Alexandria.