Draft Critique: Someone Darke

Summary:

My first draft for the Wanderer's Library

Draft Critique: Someone Darke

DrChandra 04 Dec 2019 07:16

http://topia.wikidot.com/drchandra-s-box-of-sand My first draft for the Wanderer's Library. First tab, Someone Darke. It's about 2450 words, set in the 15th century, about an Inquisitor who comes to pay Darke a visit. It was originally conceived for the SCP wiki, but other than the Character of Darke, the SCP content is nearly non-existent. Let me know what you think of it, and if it's suitable for the Library.

Re: Draft Critique: Someone Darke

Avelon21 05 Dec 2019 00:59

Suggestions:

-"The lock was placed int a shallow divet" Change "int" to "into"
-"Darke just grunted and let the body fall into the cart while Isidor…" Change "Isidor" to "Isidora", like how you spell it earlier.

Besides that, I like it. Good flow, good characters. I recommend posting and seeing how your writing fares in the Library.