An Ode to Babashe / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page An Ode to Babashe.

Zebby Fresh 13 Apr 2020 00:51

Hello, I'm Zebby Fresh! This is my very first approved scp-related article (wanderer's library as well). I've written it for the Wanderer's Depth's 2020 Contest using prompt #12: A woman dances in the sea, and she is burning.

Enjoy!

-Zebby Fresh

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Christopoulos 13 Apr 2020 01:33

Nice, feels like a genuine tall tale. 369 apostrophes, though! I get why they're there, but damn, it took a lot slower of a read than the length of the story let on.

Either way, +1.

Zebby Fresh 13 Apr 2020 01:36

Did you actually count the apostrophes? Now that's commitment

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Its a Bad Idea 13 Apr 2020 06:03

Ctrl f intensifies

Zebby Fresh 13 Apr 2020 06:09

Oh yeah. That.

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RJB_R 14 Apr 2020 02:43

The quantity of apostrophe-based vernacular here is excessive and I can’t in good conscience upvote something so I found this difficult to read, they kept tripping me up and I just wasn’t able to get immersed.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

Zebby Fresh 14 Apr 2020 06:37

That’s fair. Though some have argued that the apostrophe intensive pirate talk has helped with the immersion.

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PlayNice9001 17 Apr 2020 13:38

I agree with the previous comments that the pirate dialect slows the pace somewhat, but I think the immersion it provides more than makes up for it. Going forward, I think it might be prudent to tone down the speech somewhat and focus more on the vernacular, but overall, I think it was a good call creatively.

Zero_Consistency 20 Apr 2020 09:37

Overall I quite enjoyed the story, but I think you may need to do some more proofreading. Some of your words that need apostrophes are missing them, and some have them when they probably shouldn't. Also, there are some minor grammatical issues spread throughout.

GuesssWho 25 Apr 2020 02:51

Upvoted at the captain being an idiot.

Also, that seems worryingly like a time loop.

Sebarus 08 May 2020 03:42

The apostrophes and the font do make this somewhat hard to read, but this is pretty short so it didn't bother me, and the imagery more than makes up for it.