Verusa and his Journals / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Verusa and his Journals.

Bryx 23 Aug 2015 04:02

You should really consider paragraph breaks. I can't even read this at the moment. Everything just blends together into a treacherous and forbidding wall of text.

Ornu 23 Aug 2015 04:07

I know, I did in Microsoft Word, and I don't know how to get it to copy and paste correctly. I can't figure out how to get the engine they use here to work. If you could tell me how, I will correct it.

Ornu 23 Aug 2015 04:25

There, see if that is better. Thank you for reading.

rumetzen 23 Aug 2015 11:20

This has potential, but as is needs significant amounts of editing. I don't have time for a detailed critique at the moment, but if you'd like PM me and I can get back to you.

It's there but it's not

tanman650 24 Aug 2015 00:54

It has that feeling of this is real this happening. Like my favorite book "The Hunted" it has the feeling of horror like that but , the grammar needs a bit of work. I suggest you have a site moderator take a look at it as Rumetzen has or a friend see if anyone can help you. I mean everyone needs help at one point. Good luck with it I hope this progresses into a more realistic feeling. Oo.oO

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<-tanman650->

Re: It's there but it's not

Ornu 24 Aug 2015 15:55

Thank you.

(account deleted) 17 May 2016 21:51

Provisional +1. I like the ideas you present/allude to, but it's just a couple of scenes, without any real explanation or understanding of the stakes or… anything really. Hopefully this gets continued.

Ornu 25 May 2016 21:07

Ah, yes, I would quite like to add more stories of Verusa and his endless hunts, I just take a long time to write, so please be patient.

Maxyfran73 10 Jun 2022 00:59

I like this. I wish there was a bit more, as the end is a tad anticlimactic and it does feel as it gets nowhere, but it was still a good read nonetheless. An introduction of sorts.

+1