first post on wl
i dont really know what this is! sorry
do my gay little computers make you mad? do they make you want to hurt me?
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(account deleted)Dunno what the actual intention behind this is, but I've had legitimate nightmares about finding myself alone on the internet, which tend to feel a lot like this piece. Good job!
I'll be crossing you in style, someday!
I didn't really enjoy it because it made me weirdly uncomfortable, but then I thought about why and I think that was its purpose, whether intended by you or not. It's supposed to be alien and weird, but I still don't know if I want to give it a +1. Maybe I'll change my mind later though.
Well this is just brilliant. Gorgeously evocative, unique, and a take on the theme I was genuinely not expecting. One of my favourites of the contest so far.
Seconding this. I really enjoyed the language here, the descriptions of glitching structures and frozen museums of life, and it doesn't overstay its welcome with the themes of lost friendship and nostalgia. +1.
Mm Mm Good
I really like this as a piece but although I see the theme I feel that it struggles to fit the theme of forgotten cities, as although it does paint a feeling of forgetting and emptiness I think it is personally too abstract for the theme. +1 to the piece but +0 as an entry. :)
thanks for reading! the piece is about exploring a forgotten (digital) city—any suggestions as to how i could have made that clearer?
do my gay little computers make you mad? do they make you want to hurt me?
This evokes quite an interesting feeling, makes me uncomfortable. Weird thing to say, but I couldn't help but picture this person and this world animated, instead of the half-realism that I usually imagine in when I read, which I found interesting as well
I like the world you've crafted here, i like the whole fragmentation-of-the-body schtick, i like the cadence of things that clips along just briskly enough for me to be interested but dwells long enough on the scenery to matter. i am, however, left very unconvinced by the end. im not sure if the directedness of the sentiment, from one party to another, "i love you", is a natural conclusion of the very interior, very restless, self-to-self-to-claustrophobic world you've created in the rest of the poem. i think this poem really wants to say something else, some lucid truth, but ends up defaulting on what 'sounds' right: "i'm lonely, i'm a robot gf, i love you". i don't think that needs to be the natural end of the piece. i think the end you are trying to find is still somewhere out there, in cyberspace, in the body, in the humming flesh. i hope you find that end.
/forum/t-13982897/coldcircuit#post-