Philae 436 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Philae 436.

Reasonably Psychotic 24 Jan 2021 04:31

Made for the Forgotten Cities theme contest.

Images by me.

Explaining my downvote

ZeroMan 25 Jan 2021 22:08

The narrative didn't make a lot of sense. The idea and general theme were good, but nothing was really explained. I'm also not sure if whatever it is that the main character had was addressed properly, he just felt like he ended up dragging everyone down, which I'm not a fan of when it comes to characters that deal with special circumstances.

Besides that, the actions of the humans barely made any sense. If it wad some sort of social experiment, then alright, maybe I could believe that, but they clearly had the firepower to just destroy everyone, and if that was really necessary, why not just do it? Furthermore, why put them in a city that had protection against bombs?

Also, the kid was way too old for them to act the way they did, no matter what they may have. Do these creatures count time differently?

A lot of this just feels like it happens to further the narrative and I didn't really like that. It's a -1 from me, but I wish you the best in your future works!

Re: Explaining my downvote

Snapdragon133 27 Jan 2021 20:02

I have to disagree. The writing was halting and childish, but that felt like it was the point. This character, which definitely wasn't human, is very naive. Despite the stated age, I imagine they just count their years differently or have a very long lifespan, meaning Akhom acts like this because they're a child. I think assuming they 'have something' is a dangerous assumption to make when nothing is said to clue us into that fact.

The reason why things aren't explained as well as they could be is because we have a very unreliable narrator who has been intentionally been left in the dark by other characters.

Additionally, in plenty of conflicts to this day, humans have the ability to wipe out people if they want, but they don't. I'd say the fact that the humans don't wipe out these characters shouldn't be a criticism but more something to think about and what that means for the story.

Re: Explaining my downvote

Reasonably Psychotic 28 Jan 2021 03:37

I would agree with most of what you said but for your interpretation of Akhom. By the standards of his species, he is more a young adult/teenager, his childlike attitude coming from an existing condition. What exactly that condition is could be left up to the reader.

Either way I appreciate your feedback and defense of my writing, thanks.