This was inspired by an eliminated prompt for the first round of the new Serpentine Sorting System, "The stories a river sees over the thousands of years that make up its lifetime" by GeeboGangLeader. If you like it I'd love to see people add stories expanding on this and actual turn it into a full canon!
What the River Sees / Discussion
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Very nice piece, I like how it winds together in one long sentence with many parts, just like a river. Lots of destinations it passes, some it enjoys and some it does not. +1
Oh this one's hard. I really, really dislike the way this is written. I get the point of it… But is really irksome to look at and read to me. The worldbuilding that you've made here is actually really interesting, and the writing's good, but again, the way it's written just really gets under my skin.
So yeah, sorry, but not a fan. -1
In fairness it’s not out of nowhere — it’s literally stream of consciousness, about a —stream— river. I think the stylistic choice to make it as continuous as the river described what it sees is pretty neat, but I suppose it isn’t the easiest to look at.
Oh yeah, there is definitely a stylistic choice here and I do understand where it's coming from. Stream of consciousness to me is a very hit or miss sorta thing. That being said, I don't think this piece is bad per se, but I do have to be fair: I cannot but downvote something that I aggressively did not enjoy reading XD
not much to say beyond "it's really lovely, really beautiful" and "i wouldn't change a thing about the formatting." +1
this particular strain of stream-of-consciousness writing, where it's just normal sentences joined together with commas where there ought to be periods or semicolons, doesn't inspire me much as a device. that said, it parses alright here, and it's fitting for the subject matter, so i'll upvote this regardless.
/forum/t-14012920/what-the-river-sees#post-