So team Thought and Mind are go, I guess? I'm pretty new to writing (particularly fantasy) so I would really appreciate feedback and constructive criticism. Tell me what I did wrong, tell me what I did right. Thanks for reading!
So I really like the concept here, gnomes are creatures that aren't explored enough and I'm all for tales criticizing the human "put everything paranatural in a box" mindset that seems so prevalent in the Wikis (and honestly I'm down for criticizing humans in general, hahaha), but this one feels… VERY on the nose?
I can get behind humans being resentful and paranoid, wanting to eliminate any and all threats after even the slightest conflict with another race, but in my opinion here they just seem needlessly cruel, I don't think humans would go at it if they didn't wholeheartedly believe that they were doing the right thing, even those higher-ups who are "brain-washing" people, why would they brain-wash people into believing something that they themselves don't believe? They seem really scared of gnomes, and Thaumaturgy, but we don't really get to hear much about why.
It feels a little undeserved, the moment the article starts we're already bashing humans and human-behavior, and we never really get to see things from their side, we don't really get a good grasp of what was in the minds of the people fighting the wars, it feels like the article is just yelling "humans bad!" at me, and that leaves little to no room for reflection.
Aside from that I think the tale could be a little more polished, the interview with Stuart feels a little on the nose, I get that it's meant to be an introduction for the reader to Gnome-culture and their anomalous abilities, but it could really be more discreet about it, shouldn't the DTC already know all of the information that Katherine asked? Gnomes and humans have gone to war before. Sorry if I sounded too harsh or something, I like Katherine, I like Agnes, I love the concept and I want it to stay on the Library, so I thought I'd give my full opinion on it :')
-Wanderheil
Thanks for your comment. We aim to delve a little deeper into the backstory behind the human/ magic peeps feud so hopefully that'll improve that aspect of the idea. As for the interview, I understand what you mean— dialogue is tricky for me write in a way that seems natural but fingers-crossed, I'll improve over time. Your feedback has been really helpful to both me and my team so thanks again!
I really love where this is going and the world it's building. The idea of a grand extermination campaign by an alternate universe version of the GOC against magical creatures is outstanding, and I hope we see more of this concept built into a potential canon.
This is a really good piece. I wasn't sure what to expect, but this is nice. It's a lot of worldbuilding, and works as an amazing introductory piece.
My only complaints would be that, yes, this paints humans and humanity in a very strawman sort of way. It's not bad, I would just suggest not falling into that pit for the rest of the articles. Second would be that the interview is really strainy on the eyes. Maybe you could do with normal text and division blocks instead?
Past this, it was a good read. +1~
I have to echo the points already made, cause that's what I was thinking while reading. The interviews and general beginning of the article felt weaker than the second half. More work could be put in humanizing humanity (lol), but I worry it would end up making a bloated article.
With some trimming, I this article could be in the best shape it could be, but for now I'll still offer a +1