In it's new iteration this is a lot better, however, there are still a few issues. The largest one is your verb tense consistency. At some points you use present tense, like "he walks," "she says." However, you also use past tense, like "he tilted his head," or "they said." Intermixing these two tenses is not recommended for reading comprehension, unless it has a very specific purpose; I would highly recommend fixing the whole story to be consistently one or the other.
That being said, the clarity of the story, what's happening and to who and all that, are significantly improved. I get what's going on now. The issue now becomes, I'm not really sure why any of it's happening. You introduce a lot of new words, and explore a lot of concepts, like memetic threats, honor, and artificial intelligence, but it feels rather like a barrage of new stuff without any real reason behind it. Things just happen. Even your main character, Kaizen, just kind of hops between emotions and his motivation or grasp of the situation is unclear. You introduced the beginnings of this "reverse self-sacrifice" idea near the end, the "sacrifice of being alone," but it's very quick. You miss out on a lot of potential emotion there, so my advice would be to cut back on new things that hop around and explore your main character's thoughts on the subject before it actually happens.
Good work so far, and happy writing
-Piano