Mors Semper Vincit / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Mors Semper Vincit.

Author Post

Zikzargil 07 Feb 2022 12:38

My 1000th contest entry('tis the longest thing I've ever written):
Art by _.i._.am._.bored._
The title, Mors semper vincit, translates into 'Death always conquers' as opposed to Mors omnis vincit which is 'Death conquers all'.
There are things which even death cannot take away.

Last edited on 08 Feb 2022 06:16 by Zikzargil Show more

Maxyfran73 07 Mar 2022 02:12

Really liked this one. It's a slow and long piece I must admit, but in the end it became a really interesting telling of the fight between Life and Death. My only critiques would be that it takes a bit too long to get to the bits that grab your attention. While I'm not too fond of complex prose, I can let it slide, but this combined with the length (The story grappled me around Charinos and Death's finalization of the bet) made me wary of the rest of the tale. It turned out fine, but the beginning feels hard to sell the whole story on.

Regardless, the writing is impeccable, and the story, while a tad confusing at times, really entertained me. (I also really liked the mentions of the Worm. I like that tale of yours)

+1~

Rounderhouse 16 Mar 2022 02:10

My thoughts pretty much echo Maxy's (that seems to happen a lot lol). Once the story gets going, it's engaging and you really get to feel the stakes, to the point where you definitely want to keep reading - but that point doesn't actually arrive until, in my opinion, far too late in the story. There's a value to hooking the reader early and good, and the beginning of this sort of meanders, not solidly establishing the elements at play or the stakes. That said, the prose was engaging despite getting pretty damn flowery for the story being told in parts. As a minor note, you could also fiddle with the formatting a little to seperate line breaks better - right now some portions that seem like they should be on different lines kind of blend together. Anyway, decent and engaging, which is a pretty big thing for what is (I think) the longest entry of the contest!