I am… conflicted. There is so much here that I like. Let’s start with the good.
I think your imagery is very cool. The nightmare vibes are off the charts, the right arm thing being the definite highlight for me. In places, the rambling works well. Maw’s voice is very strong, and I found them to be likable and easy to sympathize with. The very last invisible author notes, where it intersperses Maw’s words with wikidot actions, is the best part of the author talking imo. Finallly, on a personal note, I enjoyed this story despite its flaws.
And the bad. While you may have fully captured the accurateness of a discord ramble, I think the more important aspect should’ve been is it enjoyable to read? You can keep the ramble, but story wise it’s hard to get through. The grammar issues and long passages are the two biggest issue for me. The dream itself was really long too, and like Maxy said, before getting to the more personal stuff, a lot of it feels skippable. Maw’s voice, like I said, is strong, but it is not very different from the author or the third person. The author makes sense, since it’s a self-insert, but I would’ve liked to see a more noticeable difference with the third person voice.
Finally, the Mets aspects. In short, idk! Some bits I thought were clever and enjoyable, but if you want to do meta you have to really convince the reader at the start of why the Mets is necessary, otherwise it often feels like a cop out. I’m not saying this felt like a cop out to me, but it also didn’t feel earned.
So yeah. I’m conflicted. There’s tons I like and tons I dislike. I think it is appropriate to do a novote then, at least until I have some more time to mull it over. I say all this with the utmost love for your writing Anny; I know this was rushed, and if you put more time into it you could end up with a really quality story. All the pieces are here. If you do edit it, I will be happy to take a look again