Crit Request: Poem found on a crumpled notecard
Something small to break up the C. L. Atlas related psychosis I am descending into. Does the title work for what it is? As well, does the poetry fit to form? I was thinking alternating rhyming schemes for each stanza, but I'm not too sure if it works for this. Any suggestions and comments would be greatly appreciated.
http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/meltedbee
Fun little sidenote, this was inspired in part by the song/poem in When Day Breaks, by shaggydredlocks. Figured I should attribute some credit to the inspiration :)
radiance, glorious and cold and blistering all at once, like a star behind the eyes