Evokes many questions, though the ending seems to be pretty final. The walk down to the ocean felt impactful.
Rust / Discussion
This is the discussion related to the wiki page Rust.
Very atmospheric and immersive! Your descriptive prose was great here and worked well with the more philosophical narrator voice. You bring up open-ended questions of personal significance and meaning which I also really liked. I'm leaning towards a more pessimistic answer just from reading — the final line seems to suggest we are no better than a rusted sign; we all succumb to nature in the end. Great entry all around, Bee.
Now I want to become salt.
Thanks a lot.
Very cool! Speaks to me of the corrosion of ideas, how all ideas fail eventually.
Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.
We all return to rust eventually.
Very cool, atmospheric piece. Love the way this is written~
+1
Like the others have said, the atmosphere is super good here. I personally feel like you could probably shorten the amount of time we consider the sign, resulting in an even tighter piece, but ultimately that's more of a nitpick than anything. +1 for f o g
Agreeing with the comments above- the atmosphere here is wonderfully melancholy, and it certainly does not overstay its welcome.
Echoing snap — your atmosphere is the real draw here, and your prose definitely supports that. The melancholy, introspective mood comes across very well, though I agree that maybe the sign is better served as a visual tone-setter than something to really focus on extensively in the story — but also given the rules of the contest I can understand why you made that decision. Besides that, good, sets the Vibe, and gets out before it can become navel-gazey. Well done.
/forum/t-15186734/rust#post-