A Disease of the Flesh / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Disease of the Flesh.

Author post

Vishardsh 16 Sep 2022 18:57

This one was fun to write. I wanted to do something about how some xenophobes fear the destruction of their way of life, and how standing in the way of change, no matter how bizarre or unfamiliar it seems, will always be damaging for all parties. Unfortunately I also wanted to write about an insect apocalypse, so to preserve the lingering shreds of my reputation I have to say that the body horror insects aren't supposed to represent any specific group.

Image is Report of the cruise of the U.S. revenue cutter Bear and the overland expedition for the relief of the whalers in the Arctic ocean, from November 27, 1897, to September 13, 1898 (1899) and is available under creative commons

Thanks to Snapdragon133 for critique!

Last edited on 16 Sep 2022 20:14 by Vishardsh Show more

ProgressMade 16 Sep 2022 20:13

I love the tension in this, and the starting line is particularly powerful. Very good hook.

Snapdragon133 16 Sep 2022 20:51

It was a pleasure to a get a preview to this in critique, I really loved it. The symbology is awesome, it feels like you could look into anything and find some type of commentary, and the body horror was also appreciated. Also echoing Progress' comment about tension, +1

(account deleted) 17 Sep 2022 00:45

Love the story. Nice contrast amidst the other, conceptual entries. +1

Maxyfran73 17 Sep 2022 06:03

I love the dry, somber writing, but more than it all, I love how you turn the title on its head right at the end: The way one first assumes the disease is the bug-thing, to then wonder if humanity is the disease was a brilliant twist that just fits so well, god. I loved this piece so much.

+1~

NotAnOligarch 19 Sep 2022 11:48

Hell yeah! Fuckin' bug zombies!
But all in all, everything here is really quite good, as others have said above me.
Well done, +1

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Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.

LAN 2D 23 Sep 2022 18:56

Yeah damn I should have read this sooner. This is the perfect length for the story you tell; every line just builds the intrigue in what's going to happen next. Your matter-of-fact descriptions of the crew's deaths help build a really dark and bleak atmosphere. I loved how you obscured the nature of the disease until the end — and when it was revealed, it was unique and interesting. I also liked how you end with a question, it makes this whole story more than just a stark presentation of death and disease, but an interesting thought in itself.

Great job here, gotta read more of your stuff.

Rounderhouse 26 Sep 2022 21:09

That was very good, very impressive — you build up the somber, melancholy mood really well, and the concept of Buggification is delivered horrifyingly enough that it doesn't end up feeling corny or goofy, which it very easily could've. What's left is a very classic zombie story — that the first casualty of an apocalypse is always our trust in one another, and that's the thing that ends up killing us. You also deliver a nice twist on the idea that's reminiscent of I Am Legend (the 1954 book, not the Will Smith movie) — maybe the monsters aren't quite as monstrous as we thought, but the only person left alive to appreciate the irony is going to die anyway. It's good, and your prose is tight and evocative enough that it serves the story really well.