Jäara Forser, Unnamed / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Jäara Forser, Unnamed.

Author's Note

StrangerSwing 15 Nov 2022 07:09

Ty Stygian Blue for the crit! Succint and helpful poetry as always, love your work!

This is set in the Lands Unclean, the setting of meltedbee's most famous piece, Atlas' Burden. Bee has been frothing at the mouth to see this series, so here it is! I've been marketing it as a 'parody', but that became increasingly misleading as I continued writing this. Whilst the census collector's mannerisms contrast heavily with his environment, this story stands independent of its inspiration. I plan to write more further down the line, and who knows? Maybe I'll finish this before bee finishes AB. Either way, keep tabs on both!

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Pulling back, I tried to find the point of wasting precious time,
I sip and toast to normalcy, a fool's way into jealousy;
I mock and imitate goodbyes when I know that I can't deny,
That I'll be here forever-while.

Last edited on 15 Nov 2022 07:29 by StrangerSwing Show more

Man.

Clysm31201 16 Nov 2022 01:37

I mean, it’s all great, but this line in particular;

"I guard the stars through the sky,
the worms through the ground.
I shall do so till I die,
or till my sister is found…"

> Occupation: Conservationist

Really encapsulates why I like this kind of story so much.

A well-earned +Upvote to you, my good sir.

Maxyfran73 29 Mar 2023 06:31

An odd, enjoyable read. Really liked this census concept.

+1