after the magnetic fields / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page after the magnetic fields.

page 1 of 212next »

thank you to floorboards and stygian blue

UncannyClown276 12 Mar 2023 05:07

We don't have to be stars exploding in the night
Or electric eels under the covers
We don't have to be anything quite so unreal
Let's just be lovers

-The Magnetic Fields, "A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off"

Last edited on 12 Mar 2023 05:09 by UncannyClown276 Show more

Great start to the contest!

meltedbee 12 Mar 2023 05:11

I'm pretty sure I've experienced this exact day before. Elicits quite an emotional response in me. Love it! Great way to start the contest and makes me wish I was team common.

Tim Jim 12 Mar 2023 05:16

common Common W. You love to see it. +1

Welcome to the love poem club. We have quiet melodies played over dancing rose-petals speckled from the disco ball.

Stygian Blue 12 Mar 2023 05:35

This is excellent. It describes detail in such simple but effective terms, bringing out heartfelt emotion and joy with stunning vivid imagery and contemplation of familiar things with a mindset of whimsy and old love. "i love you / like the tire in the forest / loves the grass wrapping around it" has got to be my favourite — throughout the poem, but especially here, you intertwine nature and slow overgrowth with humanity and technology. You breathe new life into these themes, and do so in a way I rarely see: with gentle reverence, with soft love, with quiet peace. I adore this. It made me sleepy and happy. Tastes like sun-warmed grapes plucked off the vine at just the point of bursting, faintly fermented by the season's grace.

-Styg

---

What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?

Last edited on 17 Mar 2023 21:43 by Stygian Blue Show more

Spoddetman 12 Mar 2023 05:52

Not only does this piece fit the theme quite perfectly, it's also really good in the absence of an overarching theme. It's a cute, down-to-earth love poem that warms my heart after an already warm day spent with my girlfriend. Joyful +1.

resident love poem hater here

NotAnOligarch 12 Mar 2023 19:43

Click for Review!

Formula:
I will be rating your work's aptitude on several factors using a scale of 1 to 7; with 1 being the lowest rating, and 7 being the highest.
Then, I will take the added scores from each area. If the total score is above 18, it will earn a +. If the total score is below 18, it will earn a -. If the score is exactly 18, it will earn a novote.

Score	Area	Comments
6	Imagery	Very nice! It evoked a lot of warm, happy, mischievous feelings.
6	Theme	Man, I feel as though I've had this exact experience before, even though you are obviously not me and I have obviously not experienced your life.
7	Flow	WONDERFUL.
6	Format	As an official member of the "poets against capitalization union", or the pacu, I heartily like what you've done here. Jokes aside, I like the stanza length, lends to the flow.
Total: 25

—Oli

---

Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.

Last edited on 12 Mar 2023 21:32 by NotAnOligarch Show more

Crow-Cat 13 Mar 2023 01:11

This evokes such a warm and pleasant emotion. It makes me feel nostalgic for something that hasn't quite happened yet. I just have big smile my face now. +1

ExiAsWell 13 Mar 2023 02:28

I would give this a solid 7/10. The imagery is great and the feelings it invokes are better. However, I definitely think that the first stanza was a bit weird, in that it set up the wrong mood for the piece, almost setting up a comedy article of sorts. I feel that if it weren’t for that, this piece would have had a more consistent feel, and it would be better overall. But it was still a great piece, nonetheless. Being the first piece I’ve read for the contest, I’m pleasantly surprised and I’m excited for what the rest contest will bring.

-Exi

Maxyfran73 15 Mar 2023 03:59

Really like it. Such a chill, heartwarming piece.

+1

Din-Bidor 21 Mar 2023 17:15

Now this, short and sweet, puts a smile on my face. Well-deserved +1.

page 1 of 212next »