Running Late / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Running Late.

Stygian Blue 14 Mar 2023 21:23

This work was a good appetizer! Now, I'm Big Prose Blue, so I am biased when I say that I wasn't quite filled by this, nor did I see how this quite fell into either Rare or Common as a work. Clarifying: While this was held in a fantastic location, the actions and surroundings were (save for the snout of the assistant) extremely banal — Common, to the point where the work could have been tagged that way and I scarcely would have blinked. But that's behind us now, so focusing on the story: It tastes like a slice-of-life. I'm not sure whether I was supposed to feel anxiety over the "opening late for the first time in millennia" bit — I didn't, because the prose felt oriented toward a comedic take, reducing tension. Maybe that was the intention, though, in which case well done. It was amusing and almost dreamlike with the flow of time and pattern of revealing information.

Ignoring the contest though, this is a nice little work set in the Library. Not overly prosaic or narrative-focused, but it's sweet and feels very much "fantasy coffeeshop slice-of-life" to me. Tastes like cream and spent coffee grounds.

-Styg

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What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?

Last edited on 14 Mar 2023 22:08 by Stygian Blue Show more

scalykitty 15 Mar 2023 03:41

I really love this as a slice of life. I get where the "rare" element ties in, and you make that clear enough (for my taste). It feels very slice-of-life, which leans more towards common, but you go out of your way to make it clear that this is a rare, unusual day. That's good enough for me!

Aside from contest considerations, I like this a lot. It's very quiet.

NotAnOligarch 15 Mar 2023 13:08

Click for Review!

Formula:
I will be rating your work's aptitude on several factors using a scale of 1 to 7; with 1 being the lowest rating, and 7 being the highest.
Then, I will take the added scores from each area. If the total score is above 18, it will earn a +. If the total score is below 18, it will earn a -. If the score is exactly 18, it will earn a novote.

Score	Area	Comments:
4	Imagery	There were a few good lines, but not enough to fill the work with a sense of liveliness.
2	Theme	This fails, in my opinion, both the themes of the contest and just in general. The actions of the characters seem shallow: Bev's uptightness about being on time has no good motivation.
6	Flow	Overall, this has a nice flow to it! It's short, quaint, and doesn't overstay its welcome.
6	Format	I actually really like the quality of the prose; the texture of the lines. It has a very nice atmosphere.
Total: 18

—Oli

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Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.

Crow-Cat 16 Mar 2023 18:26

Same with scalykitty, I felt the rare theme was pretty noticeable: this is a rare deviation in Bev's perfect orderly daily routine. Overall, this is a charming little slice-of-life story. +1

Maxyfran73 18 Mar 2023 05:03

Eh. I dunno. I don't feel as though there is enough here. While the writing is pretty good, the story itself feels incomplete, like it's just the start of a story, instead of a full story.

Novote.

Snapdragon133 08 Apr 2023 02:02

I agree with Maxy, there isn’t a ton here for me. What’s here is decently written, and the characters seem like I’d like them, but it doesn’t stand out enough for it to earn this brevity imo

Din-Bidor 21 Mar 2023 17:19

I am upvoting because I love the imagery and closely relate to this through my own tardiness and neurosis over it. I do want MORE from this setting and characters. They're fascinating. I DEMAND IT.

destinysday 27 Mar 2023 02:54

as someone who chronically hits the snooze button, this isn't much of a rare occurrence for me, lol

but for real, I enjoyed this, the slice of life feel felt nice, though I would still like to see more of these characters in the future, as this piece reads more like an intermission between other stories( if that makes any sense)

anyway, +1

cafecow 30 Mar 2023 02:40

Thanks for all the kind words friends! I appreciate everyone who took the time to comment and provide their thoughts! To everyone who wants more, don't worry that's the intention. I knew I wouldn't have time to crank out a large piece for the con so I used it as an excuse to give a teaser. I can't promise especially long pieces, but I don't intend on closing up shop so soon.