A story about the mundanity of failure. At least that was the original intent.
As someone that feels the continuos stench of failure in everything in their life, I identified with this heavily. You may have said that this isn't one of your best works, but this is excellent. Good job, in my opinion. Easy +1. May need to read all of your work now.
I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust
Getting right into it: I see this work as an examination of the relationship between a writer and their work, and how an audience affects that relationship. Beautiful stuff. Without describing it, the night felt humid and heavy, and the stars felt bright as streetlights. Your prose was delicate and deliberate; it was perfect. The characters were strong, and because this was (to me) an allegorical work, it did not need thick narrative or plot to stand. And stand strong it does. This work is refreshing, revitalizing, and shows the solution to a problem we have all faced: when in doubt, when hating one's own work because others do and so you must too, step back and rework yourself, and find what you love and cling tight.
Delicious. This tastes like ripe plums on the verge of bursting, plucked straight from the tree, slathered upon fluffy honeynut pancakes. Sweet, memorable, unlike anything else, enjoyed by all. Gorgeous work as always, Rum.
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
Strange how such a small thing can be so gripping when the contents are arranged well and oh so relevant to the reader. There's not much to it, but it's all the better for it, perhaps even the action at the end was a little too much.
Very good. A profound feeling expressed in a poignant way and delivered to probably the most fitting audience.
I will be rating your work's aptitude on several factors using a scale of 1 to 7; with 1 being the lowest rating, and 7 being the highest.
Then, I will take the added scores from each area. If the total score is above 18, it will earn a +. If the total score is below 18, it will earn a -. If the score is exactly 18, it will earn a novote.
Score | Area | Comments: |
---|---|---|
7 | Imagery | Delicious! Simply delectable. Wonderful tones of purple come to mind, just awesome. |
6 | Theme | This hits, and does so wonderfully. I love how profound it is, and how different it is in its approach. |
6 | Flow | Like liquid Mercury! |
6 | Format | Really, really quite wonderful. The prose here is, as always, simply stunning. |
Total: 25 |
Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.
What a beautiful piece. I loved seeing the struggle of this character, and this tale of just seeing the value in one's creations. The prose is extremely evocative, and the ending is just so… Oddly heartwarming, I dunno. Really good stuff.
+1
Theres some great stuff here. Working for profit and the opinions of others only to lose sight of why you started doing that work in the first place sadly is a common occurrence in the world, and even within this community when one stops to think about it.
Overall, I definitely enjoyed this piece +1
This hurt, and yet it gives me hope. Nothing is more common than failure. Nothing is more human than failure. This hits close to home and lifts spirits up again in all the right ways. Fantastic work, and a reflective +1.
Wonderful. Short, but bittersweet; something everyone here can relate to, I'm sure. Failure is a part of creating, and this is a moody exploration into how ugly it can feel sometimes. It gets the message across without being condescending or rote, carried by deliciously refined prose. Good stuff.