A Gravedigger in the Ten-Tongue Empire / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Gravedigger in the Ten-Tongue Empire.

Sobek109 22 Jun 2023 10:02

Finally posting outside of a contest!

This one started as an attempt to get better at dialogue and characters, hopefully it worked.

Thanks LAN 2D for reminding me that people describe their feelings when having internal thoughts and also thanks to
SWEET2OOTH for his corpse expertise.

Last edited on 22 Jun 2023 10:09 by Sobek109 Show more

Vishardsh 22 Jun 2023 11:31

A wonderfully frank exploration of grief, death and family. The hints of the setting are incredibly well-placed for how sparse they are and the descriptions- especially the use of sensory imagery, particularly smell- are superb. Probably one of my favourite pieces on the site

"Craftspeople, I thought, have such a calm energy to them. A surety that in this little slice of the world, they reign."

FleshMaddAvalon 22 Jun 2023 12:11

Gods, dude, this piece is so good. A tender and touching examination of the final human condition, how abuse affects its victims, the many forms grief takes, the destruction of others life's a death sometimes causes. This is an excellent piece. Beautiful, respectful, filled with effort. I love seeing you post! I cannot wait for more.

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

Spoddetman 22 Jun 2023 14:17

Simply put, I loved this. The subtle but enticing hints of the worldbuilding, the excellent dialogue and characters, the sensory details, all of them come together to form a unified whole that resonates and leaves me genuinely invested in the story. I don't know grief very well, but this piece handles it with a gentle, loving hand. This feels like the beginning of a book that I would devour from cover to cover. Earthy +1.

Stygian Blue 22 Jun 2023 15:06

I adore this. The character work is so deep and personal, even in such a tight space, and the prose is mmmmm delectable. This ends where it should, with a cube of sugar nestled at the very end. Wonderful, and one of my favourites from you. I'd say this is honey nettle tea made from leaves from the backyard, sipped over salmon from a spawning river cooked in a pan until it reaches that rare border always sought where it is still wet inside but the meat is safe to eat, bursting with half-sushi flavour. But that is not true, and this work is all the better for it. This work tastes of grain harvest and cool wind over wan summer sun and a blue sky overcast though the battleships of clouds have long since fled the harbor. Harvestwheels sprinkle the fields and two figures, one tall and another short, grow on the horizon to make the world their story.

-Styg

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What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?

Mentor in Macabre

Clysm31201 30 Jun 2023 03:19

Damn.

This feels like something straight out of
Monstergarden.

And if you know Monstergarden, then you know that’s a compliment of the highest order.

+Upvoted; nice job.

Maxyfran73 04 Jul 2023 23:40

Really amazing piece, an interesting exploration of death and grief, and what is left for those that are still living. The gravedigger and our protagonists were interesting characters, and I loved the way the story ended. A tad telegraphed, but that didn't take away from the piece.

Excellent storytelling. Easy +1

Snapdragon133 16 Jul 2023 23:13

I absolutely mean zero offense to any other pieces written recently, they're wonderful in other ways too, but I have been seriously craving more concrete stories recently and MAN you deliver. Everything just makes sense here, I love Tarik, I love the simple but intriguing worldbuilding (especially the raised stone slab pillar for bird feasts, that's awesome). I agree with Maxy that the ending wasn't especially surprising, but it was satisfying. I just love this