Author Post
Hello, this is my first post on the Wanderer's Library, and I figured this'd be a nice introduction. This is also a coldpost lol.
Thank you for reading.
A Fish Named Wink / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Fish Named Wink.
It's a sweet narrative!
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, so novote for now— I think it could be tightened up! There's a misuse of the word "lays" throughout. "Homeliness" can mean plain/homespun in a positive way, but its most common usage is as a synonym for ugly, so maybe a different choice of description would work better?
Alright, I slapped it in grammarly and made some changes. I hope they're good enough.
It reads much more smoothly, now! Cute pink fish deserves crystal clean prose for swimming!
Only other thing I'm noticing is verb tense. You've started and mostly keep to present, which I like! Very fitting for an author avatar origin story.
There's a few places where you dip into past tense and don't need to:
"Occasionally, my owner would enter the room"
Should be "Occasionally, my owner enters the room"— same for the rest of this paragraph. You do switch back into present tense with, "He's a man of no words"
One day my owner decided to leave a little present
Should be "decides to leave".
There's a few other little things, but you didn't post this for critique, so I'll leave that be (unless you want feedback). It's a charming introduction!
Oh no, I don’t mind receiving feedback. I’d be happy to improve this if you’d be willing to share any other mistakes I made.
I’ll be sure to change the above as well.
A sweet little post. Not big, not overly small. Like a miniature apple, pink and crisp as summer's edge.
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
(account deleted)This is a very interesting story. I enjoy the small bits that are left to the reader´s interpretation, such as where the fish used to reside, or what exactly the white light was, or the status of the grandmother character. Overall quite enjoyable.
⚡
The thought dazzles my eyes, but maybe that's just the hanging chandelier speaking.
Wanted to comment just to appreciate this line, it's great lol. This is a cute sweet story! It does the discovering the Library trope just differently enough to feel very refreshing. Nice work +1
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