Hello there! I need critique on a book I am writing, this may be a little long which is the reason why it is not done yet so please forgive me for the inconvenience. But before you go in, it may be a little bit long, just by a little bit.
REMEMBER, IT IS UNFINISHED AND CHAPTERS ARE NOT COMPLETE, I JUST NEED FEEDBACK ON HOW IT IS SO FAR. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, I WILL ALWAYS KNOW THE ANSWER TO…I mean it is my book so why wouldn't I.
http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/hope-versus-hate
here is the link, here is the storyline:
A entity named Hope just exists out of Nothing, like literally Nothing, not a void or anything, just Nothing. Then Hope creates a bunch of layers to his kingdom, like Verses, and irrelevant layers.
After he is done, another entity emerges out of Hope, Hate. Hate despises everything, hence its name, and creates messed up versions of Hope's creations, and everything is balanced.
Until Hate creates The Engineer, a inventor "meant" to make bad weapons. Unbeknownst to Hate, he just created Neutrality and will stop Hate from destroying Hope.
The Engineer creates new like, The Machines, seven Machines meant to destroy The Sphere, which is Hope's kingdom. The Engineer realizes Hates true intentions and leaves him for Hope, traveling all of the layers in The Sphere.
We are brought to a argument between The Council of Seven, Seven members who judge actions below them in The Sphere. They talk about The Machines and foreshadow a fight between Hope and Hate.
We are then introduced to The Phantoms. Beings like Hope and Hate, but don't have that much status as them. You have, Tranquility, Chaos, Love, Fear, Life, Death, Doom, Destiny, Curse, and Gift. And then you see what they all basically do.
We then jump to The Engineer meeting Hope and they talk about Hate and elements of the story so far, eventually The Engineer stays with Hope since Hope is aware that if The Engineer dies, the fight will spark with Neutrality dead.
We then see The Machines destroying, with beings known as The Keepers, cloaked figures who roam a layer known as The Library (Not the wanderers library) seeing their books get destroyed, each book is basically a Multiverse. The Keepers then revolt and actually manage to suppress The Machines.
We then get a jump cut to Chaos and Fear, they both are scared of Death. Why? Death may have chosen the side of Hate, but Death works for both sides, killing both good and evil. So they attack Death and leave him with small power, leaving the killing to Chaos and Fear, which is bad because, the expert is gone.
Then Hate creates The Destructors, beings that are certain aspects to destruction, Disease, War, Disaster, Genocide, Invader, and Extinction. They go into The Sphere and screw stuff up, with foreshadows of future chapters being that new entities known as The Menders will come and mend the destruction.
Then you see beings, known at The Metamen in the Metaverse, simulating the destruction, at first it seems all suppressed, until the reader reads that Hate was actually controlling the situation, and they miss Disease and Disaster invading the Metaverse and kill off many Metamen, with no one to simulate creation and destruction, no one within The Sphere will know what to do.
We then see beings called The Bordermen who separate layer from layer in the infinite and ever expanding Sphere. They play a vital role since we can't have humans turning into Gods simply by just walking and writing. But they go on a strike after Hate convinces them that they serve no purpose and that Hope is just using them to get what it wants. This leaves Chaos to form and destroy many Universes, and layers above them.
Many die, but then we get a peaceful moment in the day in the world of Hope. We see how Hope works basically. While that is happening, we see Hate experimenting. He learns that he can mimic Hope and uses this to convince things that there is hope for bad things to happen, and convinces them to follow this "hope". The viewer can tell if it is Hope or not due to the capitilization.
Hate has another idea, The Anomalies, they are these beings that are hungry for power and wish to climb up the Ranks in The Sphere, but they do not know that they will never get to the top and will endlessly kill.
I will just spare everyone the time and speed-run the rest of the chapters and events and only stop at the ones that mostly contribute to the plot (this is NOT saying that some do not)
New member of the Council.
Shows the lower beings fighting Hate's creations.
Then we get a glimpse of a new protagonist, Nieznane. Nieznane is a anomaly, the weakest of them all. He can be easily taken down by another human. Nieznane then gets to experimenting on the power of Hate. He conducts a theory, if he kills someone, they will Hate Nieznane in their soul in the after life. Nieznane wonders, if he steals this soul and consumes it, he will gain power. He then goes on a Massacre and kills both good and bad creations, making him a twisted version of Neutrality (foreshadowing that he will take on the role soon). He then escaped the layer of The Verses. Leaving a cliff hanger,
We then see Hate watching Nieznane kill and wants to create something new, Three Actions, Three Sisters, these sisters are named, Rage, Violence, and Pain. Instead of invoking their action, they make humans and everything above them, do the actions, hence the name.
Then we see Nieznane slaughtering Gods, Titans, Keepers, Narrators until eventually reaching another anomaly. The other anomaly senses his power and attempts to destroy Nieznane before he can get any further. But in this case, Status is weaker than Power and Nieznane kills his own kind, making is Fratricide. Nieznane goes on to kill every single anomaly until eventually, he is the last one.
A new entity is introduced, the Shadow Puppets. They are the markings of actions left behind of everything.
Hope hosts a Gala to occur in which everyone, good and bad, attends to, and reveals that a battle between Hope and Hate is inevitable. This is where Nieznane meets The Engineer since he has transcended far enough.
The Engineer and Nieznane meet and they talk about each others lives.
We then see Hate and The Phantoms planning on killing The Engineer.
We see Hope creating Guardians to guard The Engineer.
We see The Engineer chatting with Nieznane while eating, making it The Engineer's last feast.
We see Hate doing the plan.
We see The Engineer with dying by Death even though Death did not want to but it would be better than to suffer.
We see a funeral and the after affects after Neutrality is dead.
Death gets his revenge by scarring Chaos and Fear permanently as well as killing off many of Hate's creations.
We see what neutrality really means.
We see that Nieznane inherited The Engineer's status and power, making him the new Neutrality, this makes the viewers think this is the next main character to be killed off.
We take a jump cut to when The Engineer was alive and all the things he did that we have not noticed.
We then see Hope's creations turning away to Hate.
We see books getting destroyed and Hope having to create Authors to write new books faster to build new Verses.
We see how Hate gets his designs from gruesome experiments on Hope's creations.
We see Hope attempting to reset everything by rising all the dead creations.
The book then explains how the freedom Hate gave everyone is almost a curse and if you think about it, this is the same in reality, freedom can be bad.
Hope creates The Spiders to weave back layers and verses.
Then you see more foreshadowing where Hope and Hate both contemplate about what are they going to do, followed by the eighth council member from before who keeps tying the votes.
Nieznane creates these Nightmare beings to make people "fear" other things, other than Fear itself to hopefully drive Fear away.
The next three chapters take a dive into how Hope, Hate, and Neutrality works in the real world.
Hope and Hate both snap and need to come up with a solution to solve everything, for Hope it means repairing, for Hate it means destroying.
You both then see each other arguing.
Next few chapters is just planning the battle, Hope and Hate finally settle at the end and go back to creating.
The Menders who are woman who stitch creation and concepts like Reality and Fiction together yet keeping them apart.
The Breakers cut the fabric and cause destruction.
We see more tensions rising with Hate's creations starting to attack Hope's creations.
Six beings known as The Hands move everything within The Sphere and one of them dies, and 1/6 of The Sphere is frozen.
The next chapter is all about the new council member and how everyone just Hates him because he keeps tying the vote (The eighth is actually Hate's council member, sent to do this so they get nothing done).
The reader reads a poem about everyone status in The Sphere.
We get a full view of one of the layers within The Sphere, The Falls, a serene and tranquil place.
The reader reads a monologue from each high ranking character so far.
We see Hate not caring for Hope's creations and warnings at this point and just destroys.
Then Hope invites everyone to its palace for a Gala, hoping to ease everyone's spirits.
After the Gala and Hope and Hate argue and part ways, when Hate gets back to its castle, he meets Nieznane and Hate casts him away since now that Nieznane is neutrality, Hate will not kill him since Neutrality will always exist, so Bate exiles him and he takes the same journey as The Engineer did.
We then see Nieznane’s journey coming to an end.
We see all the sub-layers of the verses working.
Then Hate creates Warriors to go out and destroy.
The next few chapters is about Hope and Hate and how they are constantly trying to repel each others attacks.
Then an entire chapter is dedicated to how the gift of Intelligence is both a gift and a curse.
ThenHope and Hate finally clash with Hate bringing its army and Hope just bringing itself.
Then at The End, the world reverts back to Nothing since Hope kills itself and without Hope, Hate cannot exist and they both get erased…until Hope rises again from the Nothing and the cycle continues making it never and end.
Ok, glad you are still with me.
Have any questions? And yes, I will write all of this, each of them will give clues about the future.