Sup. I have a draft that I got crit on before, but it was a heck of a while ago, so I decided to make a new thread for a second round. More looking for polishing up things, although if there are glaring problems or areas that you think should be expanded, please let me know. Will be under the Scripts of Ora tab. Also, this is part of a 'series' (more just a unified worldbuilding project) that I have that also contains "Salvation Rests at the River's Edge" and "From the Mountain, Rage. Unfathomable Rage.", and these may contain context that will explain some of the proper nouns and name drops in this piece. Thanks in advance.
http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/the-expansive-collection-of-franklin-astaire
Oh, and disregard the Ideas thing at the end of the tab.