First off, wanted to say that I really like the formatting of the header. Well done.
The retrieval of the “Charter of emancipation” in Lothal
If this is the proper name of the article, "emancipation" should be capitalized as well. Otherwise, it's just a charter of emancipation.
Potnya of Arshuna2,
Footnotes sit outside of punctuation. This is a frequent problem in the article.
Footnote 3: The chronicles only talks about Nadox, the sage who preached against slavery. Though he died a thousand years ago.
I'd expand on this a bit, reword a bit. It took me a second and a few rereads to get what was being said, that there's only one known sage who preached against slavery, Nadox, but he wasn't born yet when the tablet was written. Replacing "Though he died a thousand years ago." with something along the lines of "Though he wouldn't be born for thousands of years." would serve the purpose better.
Footnote 4: Most probably the Irkanush movement,
"Most probably" sounds off and isn't proper, "Most likely the…" or "Probably the…" would sound better.
Footnote 5: Manchurian manuscript describes a decline of the Imperial cult during the twilight of the empire as many turned to other deities, most prevalently daevas in Arabia who formed a cult around Hubal
If you're referencing a particular, named manuscript, it should be "The Manchurian Manuscript," otherwise it's "A Manchurian manuscript." (Assuming "Manchurian" is a proper noun.) You also need a period at the end of the sentence.
the previous notion in academia
This one is honestly super petty and you should see no reason to change it, but the idea that the Daevites were uncompromising slavers through and through is kinda the general perception, not just in academia, is it not? There's nothing improper about specifically mentioning academia, but the notion is so deeply rooted in the image of the Daevites that it's the common perception, which feels more significant in my opinion. Food for thought.
The very fact that this was seemingly not an isolated incident but a growing trend in Daevon changes everything.
The "but a growing trend in Daevon" is an addition to the statement, one that should be marked with commas. (I have no idea if that's the proper wording for the grammatical rule, but I want to try to justify it with some substance outside of "sounds right.") —> "… not an isolated incident, but a growing trend in Daevon, changes everything."
makes it suspicious if the tablet was a propaganda leaflet.
So I think I get what you're saying here, but it needs to be clarified. The tablet is 100% propaganda by definition, there's no question about it, but I think you're suggesting that it's fraudulent propaganda created by an opposition for the purpose of libel. Again, I think that's what's happening here. If that's the case, you should clarify the statement. If it isn't, then, well, you still need to clarify it but clarify what you're actually trying to say.
Also I am attaching a part
You need a comma after "Also".
transcript of a lecture, Professor Joseph gave a few years
And you should nix the comma here.
those from Adyte Polynesia would have been taught that the Ur Ur people on the island of Xenu were immigrants who
You say that they would have been taught that, suggesting that they weren't. However, the context for the statement suggests that it's something that they were taught it and it was only corrected later through historical analysis.
“So, back to the main topic, we have committed another sin against the Daevas.
I don't know if this was purposeful, but the professor is saying this as if it's known fact when, at this point, it's just speculation with no real substantial evidence.
And then you see in Daevic history, and it looks like
I'd nix the "in".
But grant me the wish:
This is referencing a wish about to be made, so it should be "this" rather than "the".
do Potnya of all Potnyas wish for a civil war?”
"do" should be "does the".
grant us this wish;
The semicolon should be a colon.
empire erupt into chaos.” Isqa told her.
The quote should close with a comma, not a period, since it finishes with "Isqa told her."
Overall, I liked this. It's an interesting wrinkle in the idea of the Daevites and one that makes logical sense. An entire civilization, over the course of tens of thousands of years, never dissenting over an issue like slavery is absurd to think, too absurd to be realistic. And I like the formatting, I think it works in service of the piece very well.
Of course, I'm no paragon of authorship, so feel free to ignore any or all of these crits.
Keep up the good work, good luck!
