I really want to like this — the concept is interesting of its own accord, and the style is direct and readable. Unfortunately, I feel like it's held back by its formatting (makes it very challenging to approach, with a strong feeling of two big paragraphs) and by feeling hurried and underdeveloped. The piece feels a bit bony. There isn't quite the substance I'm after, but the creativity is there. Conflicted enough to novote for now.
