Here’s a story: yesterday I watched my friend stab someone.
The screams ricocheted around the thin walls of my institutional residence. In came rushing a beloved staff member: one hand clutched a newly-wetted pair of scissors, the other was mangled in such a way that I could’ve seen the bone, should I have looked. Instead, my eyes were fixated on what appeared to be a sloppy trail of red sequins spreading across the floor, and in my confusion I wondered if we were having a fashion show.
Kids started crying, screaming. It suddenly hit me that those perfect scarlet circles were blood; it took all my willpower not to throw up on the spot. 20 minutes after the perpetrator was herded out in restraints, after a ride to the emergency room sped away, I was still frozen in my chair. The other girls chanted for blood under their rubber, grip-safe shoes. My innards threatened to give way. In a strange state of internal desperation, unmoored from anything grounding to stabilize me, I anchored myself by thinking of the most comforting thing I could:
The Wanderers’ Library.
Not just the fictional construct, or the wiki, but the community. You guys hold a very special place in my heart, a place last held by the escapades of middle school besties before Covid drove us apart. Every time I read a story or goof around on the discord server, it feels like I’m part of this wonderful, quirky found family of creatives, brought together by our shared imaginations. It sounds a little crazy, considering this place started as a spin-off of a creepypasta, but it’s true. Y’all mean a lot to me.
It’s because of how much I missed y’all during my extended stay away that I took this opportunity to update y’all on how I’m doing! I have my therapist’s (and parent’s) blessing, don’t worry. Anyhow,
- I am fine! Very happy, if shaken by the prior day’s events. But for now I’m chilling in a coffee shop with my dad on my permitted day out, and that’s all I need.
- My discharge date is fast approaching, so I should be back to regular times soon (give or take a couple weeks). If the circumstances permit I’ll even hop online for roughly 30 minutes sometime after sending this post!
- The food over there is awfulll send me your best dishes and wishes
- Deepest apologies, but I didn’t write that epic I jokingly promised I would make during my treatment. Around five days into treatment I started experiencing something without a name, though everyone who goes into treatment complains of it. When every day proceeds the exact same without any new information or real choice beyond what clothes you’re going to wear, your thinking process slows down significantly. I haven’t written or drawn anything of note in the past five weeks, because by the time I decide what I’m going to do it’s bedtime.
- Once or twice I did sneak online to upvote some articles, though ;P
- Mentally I’m doing much, much better than when I was admitted. I feel positive nearly all the time now, and when I’m not I have the tools to keep myself afloat. My intake into residential, however difficult it feels sometimes, is worth it now. I’m going to be okay.
- Yes I am no longer friends with the stabber
This update is already all over the place, so before I leave lemme throw in some trademarked Sunny compliments for people:
Rounderhouse, you are cool beyond measure, and I will always remember your epic stories. I am endlessly thankful for your dedication to this community. Snapdragon, I miss your jokes and chill nature- always stay yourself Snapper. Look out for LemonG. StygianBlue, I tried to recite your Sushi poem from memory to pass the time. I think I failed, but your eloquence and wondrous prose shined through regardless. Meltedbee, whenever I see something beautifully industrial I call it Rosiecore now. Never stop forging. Wesbot, Sludge, Foramina, Piesollo, Zipnog, Dave, Tyumen, Teeth, and all the other mods, writers, artists, and readers of this belovedly wanderous Library… have an epic day, and always stay nerdy.
Until I am next permitted to spend an entire hour writing a single forum post,
Sunnnynynynnynyny
the sun! the sun! the sun!